here I am....for now

A Year in Review 2011

2011-12-19T01:09:00.000-05:00

Wow! I can't believe it's been a year since I added an entry here. Since this is a personal journal - of sorts - I couldn't let a year go by without a single word... Here is my humble attempt to sum up a very eventful year.

The year began with our second semester of my first year of homeschooling. The girls did great on their end of year testing and I took a huge sigh of relief. I was finally honest with myself and admitted that I hated homeschooling. After evaluating all that we were doing I realized that the I knew for sure the Lord had called me to homeschool...but maybe he hadn't called me to piano lessons, horseback riding lessons, dance, a weekly co-op meeting, art and gymnastics...and lead a women's bible study group..? Ya think?

As I re-evaluated the year I heard clearly from Father that I needed to let it all go and trust that He would meet my needs and, especially the girls' needs. We began the new school year in September with a new curriculum and a clear schedule. We're using My Father's World and I LOVE it. I love the time I have with the girls and all of the amazing conversations that are spurred on by the things we are studying together. The girls and I are all loving homeschooling this year.

In the mean time the families we had living with us have all moved on to bigger and better. The single mom and children were reconciled with dad, and family restored. There is still a long road of counseling ahead, but we are all so thrilled to see the God-glorifying progress that is taking place.

The young couple moved into their own apartment just in time to welcome their first child into their family. She is ADORABLE!! I love her:) They are still doing wonderfully and adjusting to parenthood with grace, just as we all expected.

The single guy got married to one of my precious friends and they are experiencing an amazing first year of marriage. They are a power couple, if ever there was one!! ...so gifted and talented. ...wouldn't be surprised to see their name in lights some day.

Father began to lay on our hearts early in the year that we would no longer be taking in families, but instead focus more on being a discipleship house for young singles. We also had a real desire to host weekend retreats for families or couples. He continued to confirm this through several outside instances and in late July of this year it became official. We found out that we had unknowingly been violating a housing code for Fairfax county by having more than one family in our single family home......doesn't matter that we have seven bedrooms and could easily fit everyone in our home - it was a violation to have more than two unrelated SINGLE adults living with us.

Though this news was difficult to swallow and brought up all kinds of rage about the injustice of it all....we couldn't deny that it was further confirmation of what Father had already been telling us. After living life together for over 13 months our home was empty within 30 days (other than our family of six, of course). We weren't sure how it would all work out, but knew that Father had a plan, and that it was a really, really good one...we just hadn't thought of yet!!:) Of course, the Lord provided (see previous paragraphs...) and did so in typical form...Amazing.

Within that next month we were surprised and blessed to have a full house again!

Jenny, my amazing sister, moved back home - she was a free-be in the head count for housing because she was related and SINGLE (if she were married they would be constituted as another family and, therefore, a violation of the housing code). Next was Sara, a missionary with AIM (Adventures in Missions) who works from home doing marketing for AIM - that's #1. Then came Jeremiah, fresh from the mission field with AIM and looking to be discipled as he seeks the Lord's guidance on what is next - that's #2. We also, temporarily, have Julie. She was on the World Race with Jenny, through AIM a few years ago and has been following wherever the Lord led ever since. She is currently interviewing for med school and looking into some schools in SC. She's with us for a few months while she awaits decisions from prospective schools.

The fact that we have these dear sisters and brother is further confirmation...we certainly didn't go looking for anyone. The Lord brought them to us, as He has for the past 5 years.

We've also held a weekend retreat for a couple that was experiencing a difficult time in their marriage. It was a beautifully productive weekend, and we all benefited from our time together. ...sweet times of conversation, laughing, crying and sharing life together. It truly is an unbelievable blessing to walk alongside our brothers and sisters through the many seasons of life.

There were several priceless visits had, either by friends (new and old) coming to stay with us for a time, or us going to stay with them: Henderson's, AIM Training Camp, trip to Boston, Ryan's, Derington's, trip to Cinci to visit Ft. Thomas crew...
Finally got to see U2 in concert!!! Two trips to NYC: Anniversary trip with Gavin, and milestone birthday trip with Rae!! Mommy trip to Avalon, NJ for a long weekend away at the beach! celebrated lots of "Russ is Awesome" days..:) Too many to count Blake family dates...:)

The Lord truly is amazing. I would never have imagined the way our home would change within this year! His plans are better than ours. We are changed, refined, challenged, blessed by all of those we share life with. Each person brings a different dynamic to our lives and our home. We are the better for it. We don't have any idea how long this season will last, but I so appreciate it and feel blessed to experience it while we have it.

Those are, at least, the highlights of 2011. I'm looking forward to seeing what 2012 will bring us. To God be the glory! ...much love, dear friends.

Your Girl

2011-04-01T20:00:00.000-04:00

I wrote this song after going to a Women's Ministry event at Reston Bible Church. Donna Winship, with Jesus in the Qur'an, was speaking about our identities in Christ, Kingdom living and living our dreams.

I was so inspired that I wrote this song the next day. The truth is, I'm really not a song-writer. I really believe Father gave this song to me. I'm so blessed by it.

My sister asked why I was smiling so much in the video. ....well partly because I really mean every word I'm singing, the other part is that what you can't see is Sutton coming to me and trying to hand me gifts from the toy kitchen I was sitting beside.

Raegan ran the video from my iphone. She did a great job and took a lot of pride in the job she did:) We had to get it under 2min. or wouldn't be able to post it on Facebook.....so there you have it.

I hope you are blessed by the song: Your Girl

much love,
em

Grace vs. Works

2011-04-01T00:55:00.000-04:00

John 14:15 reads: If you love me, keep my commands. NIV
or in the Message translation: If you love me, show it by doing what I've told you.

My grace-oriented friends would say to put too much of an emphasis on this verse would lead to a works-driven faith. I disagree, respectfully.

This verse has taken on new meaning now that I am a parent. After having a discussion with my newly four year old daughter tonight about this very topic, I had a bit of a revelation....

Elle is precious, precocious, amazing, creative, immature, witty, brilliant.....and manipulative....as all good children are:) For the past few days she has been going through the "let's test our boundaries" phase. That's okay. I'm used to it. It happens every year or so, with each one getting a little farther apart the older they get.

At the end of the night, Elle and I had a talk. I explained to her that no matter what she did or how she chose I would always love her, but her actions over the past few days had shown me a clear picture of what she thought about me.... "The way you show your love for me, is to do what I ask you to do, be quick to obey. Hearing the words I love you are always sweet to hear, but I need to see your love in action." I re-iterate that her actions haven't changed my love for her; I will always love her, but I am hurt by her choices.

She was very remorseful and went to bed in tears after a hug from me.

I was lying in bed just now rethinking that conversation - as many other mom's are doing, as well. ...should I have said it that way? Was I too harsh? Am I giving her a clear picture of God's love for her? Am I setting her up for a works-mentality toward faith?

The words came back to me: "If YOU love ME, you will obey my commands". The verse doesn't read: if you want me to love you, you will obey my commands. He loves us regardless of our choices. He is always hoping we will make the right choices, but it doesn't change his love for us when we don't. Seeing the scripture this way clearly shows that this verse has nothing to do with earning your salvation or God's love.

It has everything to do with revealing where our hearts are!

Do I believe that Eliot loves me even though she has acted in rebellion toward me for days? Of course, she does. But I also know that Elle was not caring what I thought, or wanted, or needed when she chose to lie to me about feeding her dinner to the dog, or going to dress up instead of coming down for dinner like I asked, to name a few. Her choices also revealed that she didn't trust me. She didn't trust that the plans I had for her were better than the plans she had for herself. She cared about what SHE wanted or didn't want. Her decisions had absolutely NOTHING to do with me. ...therein is the problem.

When we have been bought with a price and are no longer our own - dead to ourselves and alive in Him - making decisions without any care for what our Father, Savior, Redeemer would want, or is asking, is to act without love for Him. That doesn't change His love for us, but certainly does reveal where our love is for Him.

This verse, and others like it throughout scripture, especially the NT, do not indicate that our "works" or "deeds" can earn our salvation. Rather they help us understand that our actions reveal our heart.

Prov 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Retreat

2010-12-17T15:07:00.000-05:00

Gavin and I are so blessed to be away - by ourselves - in the Poconos this week. (Thank you Jenny for keeping the girls for us! Thank you Blakes for helping Jenny keep the girls for us. Thank you Mom for the use of one of your timeshare weeks!)

This has been a sweet time of reflection, rest and renewal. We had Sunday through Wednesday to ourselves to sleep in, stay in, stay in pj's all day. It was just what we needed. Our friends, the Ryan's, joined us on Wednesday night for the remainder of the week. We've prayed together and worshiped - it's been just what we needed. (We still stayed in our pj's for most of the day....:))

What I've been learning and what has been confirmed: God is definitely ushering us into a new season of ministry. We've known this for over a year and a half, but it's becoming increasingly clear that the new season is upon us and will most likely roll out within the coming year. He's had me in the book of Job for the past few weeks. I see that God wants us to love, follow and trust Him, not because we'll be successful or get good things (and therefore, avoid bad things) if we do, but just because loving Him and being loved by Him is enough.

This is a constant theme over the past few months - even up to the last year. The question He has posed to me has been: Am I enough? ...just me? Is My love enough? Am I worth more than your comfort? Am I worth more than your rights? Am I worth more than stability or security? Do I matter more than your children, your family, your friends? Am I worth it even if you never see a single dream come true? Am I enough?

It has taken me months, and many tests and layers, but my answer has been, and is: Yes! All to you I surrender - every thing, every part of me, all of my dreams, all of me - I surrender. You are enough. I trust You and I know that You are Good! You are a good Father. My hope is in You, Lord!

I'm also realizing that if I had a true understanding of God's holiness the answer to these questions would be a resounding - no-brainer - YES! Reading Job was uncomfortable. It's such a fascinating book. ...so many themes. God's holiness was certainly one theme that screamed out to me. The Lord now has me reading Isaiah...are you picking up on a theme?! God is really wanting me to grasp His holiness. ...well, here we go!

much love to you, my precious friends. I covet your prayers, thoughts, concern and love. I love to hear from you. (the girls love homeschooling - I'm starting to:) It's definitely been a journey of refining my character, and is certainly an act of obedience. I'm still in the thick of it. Prayers, advice, thoughts are always welcomed. I'll talk more about homeschooling soon. ...when my head comes above water:)

Up in the Middle of the NIght

2010-09-19T04:59:00.000-04:00

...it's 4:38 and I've been awake for an hour... Always when this happens, because it is rare, I start a little conversation with the Lord. (He's always wide awake:))

"Is there someone I should be praying for?" "Thank you for this day and all the blessings you have poured out on me, Gavin, the girls, and those I love."

I start counting my blessings, and I lift up those I know are hurting.

....those that are hurting. There are so many so close to my heart... I feel helpless. What do you want for them, Lord? I know you want the best for them, but what do you want for them in [this]?

My faith grows as I remember all You have done. I remember the long history from which we come. I remember the impossible made possible. I know that You are good!

I'm so hungry to see Your Spirit set free here in Northern Virginia. I'm hungry to see lives truly changed and set free to be what you have designed us to be. Marriages healed. Lives restored. Justice and Peace. ...your Kingdom.

I don't know what is ahead. I don't really care, I trust you... I do want to cherish this day, this season, this place, these people. Please help me.

I feel so blessed. You are what is special about me. ...and I do feel special.

My cup overflows and my hope is in You.

It's been so long....so...very...long

2010-08-11T23:28:00.000-04:00

Hi sweet friends:) Melanie, thank you for the encouragement to update. I need to catch up on all of your blogs, too. I sadly have been abstaining from cyber-world for a little while now.

Many things have changed in the last few months so I will try to be brief and expound later. We have a new set of house-mates living with us. We have a mom and her four children; a young newly wed couple; and a single guy.....also, a dog and a cat:) So before you think we're crazy I can tell you that this is such a sweet season, already. We truly are so blessed by each one of them.

....more later:)

I am very excited about homeschooling. We start in a just a couple of weeks!! I have all my materials in and have a plan... more later:)

Gavin and I just celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary and had an amazing time! We've adopted a great idea of one of my friend's. We take turns planning anniversary celebrations as our gift to one another. This year was Gavin's turn to plan and he really out-did himself. ..wine tasting, champagne with friends, and dinner at one of our favorite french restaurants.:)

Raegan is at her first overnight camp this week with the Girl Scouts and her friend, Claire. I miss her. I hope she's doing well.

I also celebrated my birthday since I last wrote, and am getting to use my gift this weekend...in North Carolina...with my Mom and my amazing friend, Meredith...at Westglow Spa!! I can't wait to be back there and show Mer ASU, take her to a real fish camp, and READ A BOOK without being interrupted!!! ..we're also going to lay by the pool!! WooHoo!! I'm so excited:)

So there are other things, of course, but those are the highlights!

I love you, my sweet friends. Blessings to you and your families.

I-Heart Revolution

2010-04-21T07:08:00.000-04:00

I've recently joined the I-heart revolution, in part because of this video, and because I want a voice; to be used in a tangible way. This group is so inspiring and they seem to have a pretty effective way of mobilizing believers.

I hope you're encouraged by this video, as I was.

Decision Made

2010-04-20T21:17:00.000-04:00

I've said for years that I wouldn't homeschool unless I knew I was called to do it. "I'm not just looking for more work" was my typical response:)

This past weekend it became clear to me that the Lord is calling me to homeschool the girls next year.

I'm just as freaked out as I was before this decision was made, but I have complete peace. ...further confirmation that He really is calling me, and will provide what I need to do this. I know this year will be challenging, but I am excited to be stretched.

(I'm VERY excited!!! ...starting to dig into curriculum, ect.)

Any words of wisdom are welcomed and appreciated.

I'm after Mercy...

2010-03-29T03:04:00.000-04:00

Passing along, Jesus saw a man at his work collecting taxes. His name was Matthew. Jesus said, "Come along with me." Matthew stood up and followed him.

Later when Jesus was eating supper at Matthew's house with his close followers, a lot of disreputable characters came and joined them. When the Pharisees saw him keeping this kind of company, they had a fit, and lit into Jesus' followers. "What kind of example is this from your Teacher, acting cozy with crooks and riffraff?"

Jesus, overhearing, shot back, "Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? Go figure out what this Scripture means: 'I'm after mercy, not religion.' I'm here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders." (Matthew 9:9-13 The Message Translation)

"I'm after mercy, not religion".... The NIV translates this passage "I desire mercy, not sacrifice". ...interesting. What does this mean - really?

I found myself recounting my "mercy" revelation story tonight to some dear friends. ..and here I read about mercy again tonight. Are you trying to tell me something, Lord? I can't think of anyone in my life that needs mercy... hmm.

Well, Lord, if you're about to reveal another layer of this amazing concept, I'm ready for it. I want to be a do-er of justice and a lover of mercy. To You be the glory, alone.

(side note: Gavin has been really sick lately. He had a staff infection and then came down with viral meningitis... He's still recovering. Please keep him and us in your prayers.)

The Baggett Swap

2010-02-20T22:27:00.000-05:00

Gavin and I are so blessed. Big Daddy has truly poured out His blessing on us through His body, here in NoVa. This weekend He is using our precious friends, the Baggetts, to bless us abundantly.

Graham and Courtney are a newly wed couple that we adore. They have been a special part of our family for almost two years - after meeting each other in our home:) Courtney was on the "Race" with Jenny and she's an amazing southern girl...she fits right in:) Graham, we jokingly say, is Gavin 10 years ago - except that Graham's humble...hahaha. They are a precious couple and we love having them in our home.

That statement has never been more true than this weekend! They have literally swapped houses with us for the weekend. They are with the girls today and tomorrow (along with Jenny), and we are at their very cute apartment in Alexandria.

Gavin took me into Old Town tonight - SO CUTE - for dinner. It reminded us a lot of New England - brought back so many happy memories. We're hanging out now, reading, writing blogs, sipping wine, listening to music (they had a bottle of wine and a worship CD waiting for us) and enjoying a peaceful quiet...

sweet blessings - sweet friends - amazing Bid Daddy!

The Rich Young Ruler

2010-01-28T23:24:00.000-05:00

When Jesus heard that, he said “Then there’s only one thing left to do. Sell everything you own and give it away to the poor. You will have riches in heaven. Then come, follow me.” This was the last thing the official expected to hear. He was very rich and became terribly sad. He was holding on tight to a lot of things and not about to let them go. Seeing his reaction Jesus said. “Do you have any idea how difficult it is for people who have it all to enter God’s kingdom? I’d say it’s easier to thread a camel through a needle’s eye than get a rich person into God’s kingdom.”
“Then who has any chance at all?” the others asked.
“No chance at all,” Jesus said, “if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it.” Luke 18:22-27 (The Message)

Several of our friends are experiencing “Rich young ruler” moments right now. It’s really hard for me to not want to swoop in and “rescue” them from these difficult faith decisions. Why is that?! I still have a warped view of what is BEST.

We certainly have had our RYR moments. We used to call them our Abraham moments... The first was when the Lord restored everything we had run away from in Boston - “fleeing from sin”. We left there broken, we left everything, but in His hands. When He brought us back to New England three years later it was to a nicer home that we owned, a better job, a “better” town - Cambridge (it’s hard for me to say one town is better than the North Shore towns - we love them all. But Cambridge was a lot closer to Boston, and we were living in the city), an awesome place to worship: the Cambridge Vineyard (still the only place that Gavin and I both felt completely at home) and a new family - Rae was two years old and Reece was only a few months. Everything we left was restored, except even better!

The moment that was our most difficult decision of faith was after we had been back in Boston for about a year. The Lord called us to leave everything and move to Ft. Thomas, KY - just outside of Cincinnati, to help plant a community based church. We were leaving the best paying job Gavin had ever had, our first real home, the city we loved, the church we loved, friends that remain a powerful gift from the Lord, the east coast - to go to the Midwest.......no offense to the any Midwesterners out there, but I’m just an east coast girl.

We obeyed, though it truly was the most difficult decision we’ve ever made, and moved into a tiny two bedroom apartment with 70’s decor, without a job (Gavin had begun his own business), and with two little girls.

Planting a church is very difficult. You learn more about how NOT to do things than anything else...at least that was our experience. It is a clumsy, fragile and most-of-the-time messy process. Though that season was very difficult, it was also one of the most rewarding.

..interesting that even now I have this urge to paint it pretty - to make sure there is a happy ending.... there wasn’t..at the time. It was a painful time. We gave everything and put ourselves out there ...and got hurt. We obeyed and did what God called us to do, and it was hard....

The written word is so final and ominous....

There was definitely a lot of sweet, and yummy fruit from that season - I want to highlight that point.

Has the hurt been redeemed? Absolutely! Our dad is the Great Redeemer and He has proven that name to us. Every hurt has been redeemed and we have been blessed abundantly by the community in Ft. Thomas. We have life long friends there, God-parents to our children there, and we continue to partner with them in ministry. They are a great part of our lives and ministry. We cherish them and even have grown to like Cincinnati...:)

Let me quickly tell you the end of that story: We had been in Ft. Thomas for about 18 months when Gavin felt the Lord’s leading to move us here to D.C. This, too, was an extremely difficult decision because we were very much so invested in our community church. I thought Gavin was wrong. We should either move back to Boston, where we still owned a home, or NC where our family was. We were expecting our Eliot at the time. I submitted, however, and we moved here to D.C.

The moment I walked into the house the Lord had completely provided, I felt rescued. I had this wind of peace rush over me. I knew we were home and exactly where we were supposed to be. Big Daddy has since blessed us with an amazing home that allows us to host many families for worship, living life together, etc., an awesome city, friendships that I’ve always hoped to have, and a growing community of believers that are starting to realize there is more....and see it! ...and two more daughters. (it is fitting that we have two Carolina girls and two Virginia girls)

This place I told everyone, very arrogantly, would be a “pit-stop”, has become home and I can testify that the Lord is faithful. We’re going on our fourth year here, and we have experienced His promises to be true.

Luke 18:29 (The Message) No one who has sacrificed home, spouse, brother and sisters, parents, children - whatever - will lose out. It will all come back multiplied many times over in your lifetime. And then the bonus of eternal life!

So why would I want to “rescue” my dearest friends from experiencing God’s richest blessings?! ....because it is hard to watch them get there. Lord, please help me to stay right where you want me - present to walk through this difficult time with them, yet out of the way. I trust you, Lord. I know that you are good. I know what you have for us is so much more amazing than anything we have planned for ourselves. Let your peace that passes all understanding comfort them through these hard decisions and draw them close. I trust you.

Abide In Me

2010-01-21T09:47:00.000-05:00

Those are the words I woke up hearing from my Dad this morning: "Abide in Me"

I'm weak, Lord. I lack self control. I need you. I know that I can't do [this] without you. The basics of life, walking in obedience, are impossible for me - my flesh is too weak. But I don't trust in myself. I know that I am nothing without you. Any wisdom I have is Yours - I know that. Any good thing in me, is You. My hope is You. I trust You. I know that you will take me further than I want to go and I trust you. I want all of You and I give you all of me.....all of me....all of me....

teach me, dad. I love you...

To Game or Not to Game...

2010-01-19T06:53:00.000-05:00

That's actually NOT the question... Since I was a child I've loved to play games - who doesn't? Atari was our first family game system. My sister, brother and I loved playing "The Oregon Trail" and "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego" on the computer (oh, how things have changed!). Things really got interesting in college when we heard of "The Age of Empires"! ...and cheat codes - thanks, Greg:)

I love having game night with the kids. They LOVE having game night. Some of our favorites are "Sorry", "Clue for kids", and "Cranium".

My two older girls each have a Nintendo DS and Elle has a Leapster - for our road trips. I try to get games that have some kind of educational value, but they are also just fun little game systems.

I was lying in bed this morning thinking about games ...not at all obvious, I'm sure ...and I was convicted. Now I know there is nothing inherently wrong with these games, but I learned a long time ago that everything we have been given can be used as either a tool or a weapon. That decision is ours alone.

I was convicted because I've been using games as a weapon, as of late. Reece's DS has been confiscated due to her inability to locate it when needed, and it sits beside my bed. When I can't go to sleep - or don't want to yet - I've been playing her DS.

I heard a whisper this morning: "What are you trying to escape from?" All at once thoughts of how to use that time more productively began flooding my mind. ...productivity isn't really the goal when I'm lying in bed at midnight, mind racing. But time with my Dad, is. Those are usually the sweetest times of my day.

The Lord has been speaking to me through Kim Walker:
You won't relent until you have it all
- my heart is Yours.
I set you as a seal upon my heart,
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
And living waters can not quench this thirst.
You won't relent until you have it all
- my heart is Yours.

and

all to you I surrender
everything, every part of me
all to you I surrender
all my dreams, all of me

and

Where you go, I go
What you say, I say, God
Where you pray, I pray
Where you pray, I pray

though the world sees and soon forgets
we will not forget who you are and what you've done for us,
what you've done for us

...there is nothing wrong with playing games. However, when your dad is calling you? ...you better put down your games, whatever they may be, and run to His side, right? There is nothing in this world like the voice of our dad - His words are life. ...the games will still be there when I get back.

Awake in the middle of the night

2010-01-09T04:11:00.000-05:00

...awoken by a talking baby... that's odd. ...she doesn't sound upset. I wonder what's going on with her. she rarely has trouble sleeping through the night - thank you Babywise!! ...maybe she'll go back to sleep.

...she's starting to get upset now. ...something's not right. I go to see what is the matter. maybe she's gotten tangled in her blanket. now that she's rolling over and trying to crawl that happens a lot more frequently... her face lights up with such joy. ..."I'm rescued!! Thanks, mommy!" is all over her face. She has such a sweet smile. Her four little teeth, worn like a badge of honor, shining for all the world to see... she peacefully looks to the door. staying in her room is NOT a viable option in her mind.

she has a stinky diaper ...ah, that's it. ...she clearly is not happy about turning back around and re-entering her room, even with the light on...even if she's getting her bum clean ...she wants to be out of this room... "what's in your room, mommy? ..or down stairs?!" is coyly expressed through her leaning body in that direction...

she's constipated....poor baby. she has had such trouble with her little tummy from the beginning of her little life. I keep hoping she'll outgrow it - teething has helped. instead of the usual burning diarrhea diapers my other girls always had when they were teething - she's regular. ...but tonight her little tummy is hurting. ...juice! I'll get her some juice! that should satisfy her on many fronts - going in the direction of her leaning....

...she could care less about the juice, though she does drink some. ...she's hurting - I can tell. Lord, please heal whatever is going on in her little digestive system... give me wisdom to know how to best help her little body function.

...I lay her back down. ...she's not happy about that, but is tired and goes quickly back to sleep. it's now 3:40 in the morning. pitch black outside - probably the darkest the night will get, at this moment. I'm tired. ...as I go to get in my bed there's another little girl in my spot ...blondie. we already had a short one in our bed from earlier in the evening. how is it that two very little girls can take up an entire king sized bed? Gavin loves being crowded and snuggling with his girls....I need my space. ...I think I'll go sleep with Rae - that never happens anymore.

...never happens anymore...

...and I'm reminded that this season of being up in the middle of the night will pass too quickly. they are all growing up so fast. so precious. so proud to be their mommy.

I hear a whisper ..."enjoy the moment".

one day soon I'll sleep right through the night without a single interruption ..and it will be sweet...and lacking.

Three in Three!

2010-01-06T23:29:00.000-05:00

So far my New Year's resolution is in tact....three blogs in three days.....don't hold your breath! ha!

I feel like the Lord is preparing my heart for a big change this year. ...Expect the Unexpected...

Homeschooling has most recently come back to my mind. This has been a four year process.... I thought I had been "let off the hook" but find myself trying to jump back on. I get excited thinking about the many prospects.

Gavin and I had a long talk this morning about priorities. What ARE our priorities when it comes to our children's education? Do we want to expose them to as much as possible or make sure they have dear friends to go through school with? Is academics more important than the social aspect? If we cultivate a lifestyle of learning at home does it really matter what the public school system exposes them to? Where will they have the most stimulation? What about Reece who has found her confidence by being out from under Raegan's shadow, being at a different school - with her own friends, etc.?

...then there's the dreaded homeschool mom stereotype.... Now I have to say I have some pretty cool friends that completely shatter that stereotype: Anna, Kim, Denise, Melanie...to name a few. They are all hot mama's that are creative, fun and create an awesome environment for a lifestyle of learning. However, it is still a thought I have to battle - why do I care? I shouldn't....

Balance is the spice of life! It's also the place where true faith is discovered. That's what I'm hoping to discover in the journey of this year....

Raegan has a lot of great ideas. Jenny is getting excited about it, too. I think about weekly museum trips to the Smithsonian....what an amazing place to live for homeschooling! I think about being able to have music lessons during the day, gymnastics, trips to the library, art enrichment, starting our own Planting Sequoias co-op, science projects, etc. What if we got a french au pair to live with us and help teach the whole family french? Being able to travel and have an apostolic ministry would fit perfectly with homeschooling....

.....balance.... One day at a time - led by the Spirit.

I really just want to be obedient. I'm not looking for more work. I know that I need alone time every day. I enjoy the few hours I have while Reece and Raegan are in school....it won't be long before all the girls are in school! I could always go back to school and get my Masters in education. Teaching is definitely in my blood, though I tried to deny it. I love to teach.

I also feel a pulling to pursue an education in counseling..... Maybe it's not children I'm supposed to teach, but something to do with Women's ministry or Family ministry. That is also very close to my heart. The Lord has certainly brought a lot of these types of opportunities our way over the past six years. Would I really be able to do these things if I were homeschooling?

...Lord, I need you to make sense of all of these thoughts! I truly just want to be obedient. Give me wisdom to know what step to take next. ...everything I am for Your Kingdom...I'm in Your hands and I trust you...

Our Disney Perspective

2010-01-05T23:17:00.001-05:00

One of my dearest friends recently asked my advice on the Disney parks since we have a timeshare there and go often. Here is what I wrote to her, just in case you are interested.

Where to stay:
Staying at one of the Disney resorts gives you the most benefits - there are special bonus hours for Disney resort guests and little perks that other guests don't have access to. If that's a little too much for the budget, staying in Lake Beuna Vista is the next best. You're minutes from the parks and most resorts have complimentary transportation to and from the parks. We have a timeshare in Lake Buena Vista - if you're ever interested in using it, let us know!

Disney Parks:
The Magic Kingdom is the most fun for the little ones (and adults). It's also the most popular park - but that's for good reason. They really know how to do it! It's so magical!
We almost skipped ToonTown at the Magic Kingdom, but it ended up being Reece (5yrs.) and Eliot's (2yrs) favorite land. Their favorite thing was going through Mickey and Minnie's houses. Also, be sure to visit the Hall of Presidents!! Don't miss it!
The Animal Kingdom is second out of all the parks. It's a really fantastic zoo with bells and whistles. The Safari is awesome. Be sure to get there when that park opens and go there first. The animals are most active earlier in the day. By lunch time they're taking naps. This past time we had a giraffe walk right up to our truck - it was amazing! ...such a great experience.
Hollywood studios is good but it is a poorly laid out park. Still there are some good shows there: Beauty and the Beast, Indiana Jones, High School Musical...
The last one out of the four (for little ones) is Epcot. We LOVE Epcot, but it's a little "heady" for the little ones. Raegan is eight and she really enjoyed it, but the little ones missed a lot. They all enjoyed the Spaceship Earth area, The Land and The Sea areas; Innovations is awesome.
If you have a science lover they will be in heaven!! The Innovations area is fantastic! -a word of caution- evolution is very much an accepted philosophy around the Spaceship Earth area of Epcot, but not bad enough to skip. We used each opportunity as a teachable moment.

Moving between parks:
It takes about 2 days to get through Magic Kingdom. Every other Disney park can be done in a morning or afternoon - you may just want to go back and do some of those things again. The transportation between Epcot and MK is excellent, by monorail, but transportation between the other parks is by bus.....not so great. Hollywood Studios does have an option of going to Epcot by boat, which is nice. Because parking is good all day at any Disney park, we found it easier to just drive to the other parks most of the time (except for Epcot to MK and visa versa)
Personally, I would do a hopper pass for a few days and use it to go between the Magic Kingdom and the Animal Kingdom - hit the high spots of Hollywood Studios and Epcot, but then get a ticket for Sea World.

Universal/Sea World vs. Disney:
SeaWorld and Universal both have an awesome option - when you buy a ticket for one day it is good to use for 7 days at no additional cost! It's such a great deal. The girls really loved SeaWorld. You could easily spend several days at SeaWorld.
Universal definitely has some fun rides, and Dr. Suess land was a huge hit, but the park doesn't run nearly as efficiently as the Disney parks. We can't do Disney every year, and when we can't Universal is a great option. However, if you have the funds and you have to choose between Disney and Universal, Disney wins every time - hands down. If you have to choose only one park out of all of the Disney parks - Magic Kingdom wins.

Schedule:
The schedule that worked best for us was to get there when the park opens and stay until lunch. Head back to the resort, have lunch, swim, take naps, and then head back to the parks around 4pm and stay until we were tired. The parks have amazing fire works or lazer shows (except for the Animal Kingdom) every night. Epcot has an incredible lazer show at 9:30 every night. MK has awesome fire works, lit by a real Tinker Belle -which was neat for the girls - at 10:00 every night. Hollywood studios has a fireworks and lazer show at 9:30 - I think that's the right time - every night. We didn't get to that one.
One other thing: Mondays are the busiest day of the week for the parks. I don't know why. I read that before we went, but didn't really believe it.......there was no question of the validity of that statement once we were there..... Avoid going on Monday's if you can - unless it's just a really dead time of year, then it shouldn't really matter. Also, the busiest hours are between 11:00 and 4:00.

Saving Money:
Another great thing is that the parks let you bring in food. We saved SO much money bringing in our own snacks and sandwiches - when we did spend money it was on things we really wanted - ice cream treats, a gift on the last day to bring home, etc.

I think that's everything. Oh, yes, there's one more thing that we didn't take advantage of, but I hear is a wonderful thing for little girls, especially: Character breakfast, lunch or dinner. You have to book these months in advance, but I hear they are a sweet time. The Grand Floridian has the best one - or so I've heard. If your child dresses up, the princess she dresses as will spend extra time with her...just fyi:) I'm sure if you google Character meals at Disney you'll find lots of info, if that's something you're interested in.

That's all I've got - I hope it's helpful for your next trip to Orlando:)

Do I Dare?!

2010-01-04T21:44:00.008-05:00

Wow, I really can't believe it's been so long since my last post. ....New Year's resolution: blog more, among other things....

I'll quickly say that we returned home last night (spent Christmas in Orlando at Disney World with Mom (Marno) and our Mom Stalvey (grandmother)) to an empty home for the first time in over four years.....

It was surreal, sad, exciting, and curious. We slowly walked around the house looking to see what all had been taken or left behind. Raegan and Reece cried. Eliot asked why they were crying and comforted her sisters. Sutton was thrilled to be home and out of the car.

We had our prayer time together, cried some more, talked about how we were feeling and put the girls to bed. It was a sweet time. We're excited to see how the Lord will fill this home this year. There is much to come and we are ready to be used however the Lord wants to use us. ...everything we are for Your Kingdom's cause....

Athena and the kids successfully moved in with her mom while we were gone for Christmas. This will give them a more long-term living solution while she figures out what life looks like as a single mom. We are still hoping for redemption and understand that God's redemption comes in many different and surprising forms.... Our hope is in Him.

We are looking forward to still seeing the kids and Athena weekly at our "Monday Midrash" and occasional Sabbath dinners. The girls are having a slumber party this Friday with Gia and Kiara. It's been an amazing year with them. We're so blessed to have been a part of their lives and them a part of ours! (slide show to follow)

Nick and Traci came to collect the remainder of their things. (Nick and Traci were married a few days after he returned home in November from the World Race mission trip through Adventures In Missions (AIM) where he has been since January. They are now living in N. KY/Cinci where he is from and his mom, sister and nephew currently live, as well.) We are thrilled for them and their new life together!!

...so, we have an empty home, for the moment, for the first time in four years. Jenny is still with us, but she doesn't count...:)

It looks like it's going to be a full year of ministry through our Planting Sequoias community here in NoVa. We're excited! We're anticipating how the Lord will fill our home. We already know of several different families that will be with us short-term. ...we'll see what is next!!

I love the Message translation of the "seek ye first the Kingdom of God" passage. (We sang that song last night - please forgive the KJ verbage:))

Matthew 6:33 (The Message)

30-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

I love you, sweet friends. I cherish your prayers and support. May this be a year full of overflowing cups for His people.

(I clearly don't know how to say anything "quickly")

Update full of Random information

2009-08-01T00:52:00.002-04:00

(from a note I wrote to Nick giving him an update on the family happenings)

Athena and I decided to take the kids to Busch Gardens....by ourselves! CRAZY! As a VA resident you can buy a ticket for $56 and use it all summer long. We first used our tickets in May and this was our attempt to get the most out of our money. We got two hotel rooms for one night and went to the park for two days. The first day was a little rough, getting the hang of it, but the second day was very nice. The kids had a blast! We're going to try to go back again before the end of summer.

We got a LOT of looks with our eight children. I get a lot of looks having FOUR children! People stop me and inform me that I have too many children - always men:) Women give me lots of ooohhs and aaahhhhs...men actually blurt out profanities...it's pretty funny! I had one man walk by me and say "no more! They're cute, but no more". Of course Gavin is never with me when this happens - usually just me with the girls - so I'm sure they must assume I'm this out of control, horny, single mom who is too irresponsible to take birth control. It's pretty funny.

Eliot Katherine is amazing. She sings her ABC's and can count to 20. She loves Kung Fu Panda right now!! Elle is so smart. There isn't a single day that goes by that Gavin and I are not amazed...literally. She recently lost her little pink baby bear. We can't find him anywhere. We've all looked every place we can think of and nothing. She was without him for over a week when I bought a new one - bigger and brown - looks nothing like her other one. Jenny and I were together when I got him. We put him in her arms while she slept and she woke up the next morning with him, and in love!! We told her that baby bear sent his cousin, Barry, to be with her while he was gone. She said for a while that baby bear was in school, but yesterday she told mom, out of the blue, that she lost him.....:( Elle really loves her new "baby bear" though - so I'm very happy about that.

Reece - Roo loved VBS this year and it got her thinking about school. She's VERY excited about starting Kindergarten. We'll take a tour of the school and find out who her teacher is in late August. She'll be going to Great Falls Elementary, like Rae did for K. She's so beautiful and has such a great personality. I'm taking her out on a date this week while we're at mom's.

Oh yes, I forgot to tell you that I decided since we were already in the southern part of VA that I would go ahead and drive to mom's for a visit. We're here for the next week and then meeting the Blake's at the beach. Gavin is going to take the train down to meet us here and drive over with us to the beach. We're all very excited about that!

Mom had stints put in two major arteries at her heart last week, to everyone's surprise. One artery was 100% blocked and had started it's own bypass called collateralls (sp?) and the other was 95% blocked. They said she was a walking time bomb. Thankfully, they were able to completely open up the one blocked 95% and the other they are treating with medication since it was already starting to take care of itself. She's completely changing her diet, too. She's still staying away from carbs, but no more fatty meats. She's doing well.

Raegan is doing great. She's very dramatic, as usual. The Lord has brought her some great friends from school and she's excited about getting into her year of 2nd grade/French Immersion. She really enjoyed VBS this year, also. She told me that she wants to be a missionary and has talked about it often since. I can definitely see her doing that. She lost both of her front teeth. They are already starting to come in again. We think she's come pretty close to kicking the whole sucking her fingers thing....fingers crossed.

Sutton is changing so quickly. I had to stop nursing her because she was reacting so badly to my milk. I gave up dairy, which helped a little, but her little tummy was still all torn up. She's doing great on formula. It was hard for me to give up because it was just so outside of what I expected....consistent with her so far. I'm definitely having to surrender all expectations when it comes to this little one! She is such a good baby, though, and I'm crazy about her.

Gavin and I are doing great. He's still my best friend and there is no one I would rather be around than him. We are celebrating our 12th anniversary this next week (August 9th)!!

There has been a stirring among Gavin, Jenny and myself lately. We feel a new season coming that will require even more sacrifice. We have no idea what is around the corner but we are trusting in the one that does know. We know, and declare, that He is a good father who knows how to give good gifts and we trust Him. We just want to be about His business.... I've gone through my checklist, personally, and I know that all I have is His and is in His hands. I hold every blessing he has given me with open hands. I'm so thankful for every day I have with my precious blessings, but I know they are His.

I'm anticipating normalcy once school begins. In the mean time, we're out enjoying this summer! I hope you all are, too!
much love,
em

Single handed...

2009-06-11T12:56:00.002-04:00

Th phrase "single handedly" conjures up thoughts of great accomplishment, usually. It most recently, however, describes the way I'm having to type...which may explain why I'm not doing much of it lately. As I type this, single handedly, Sutton is sleeping in my arms. She's such a cutie!

So, to keep this short, we're doing well. Sweet T is on a three hour cycle, with one four hour gap at night. The girls are all still amazing with her, especially Reece. Rae finishes up 1st grade next week. They don't get out until the 18th - does that seem really late or is it just me?! She loves the French immersion program and will be returning next year.

Jenny is home, asof the 1st of June. We're thrilled to have her home!!

The Woodson family is still living with us, but we are very hopeful about some recent developments. Please pray for clarity, healing, redemption, and wisdom in this situation if the Lord lays it on your heart.

Nick is practically engaged to a girl we love, Traci, and having an amazing time on the World Race through AIM (Adventures in Missions). He plans to marry her when he gets home at the of the year! He has lived with us for the past three years and we're so proud of him!

Mom comes up next week for a long visit!! We can't wait! Then we'll be heading down to NC for a visit. I LOVE summer!!

pictures coming soon...

Keeping it Cool

2009-05-14T00:19:00.002-04:00

I'll be back soon with more pictures and updates, but in the mean time enjoy this faux-mercial...I think it's hilarious!!

Roo's new haircut and Sutton

2009-04-17T01:55:00.002-04:00

I had been promising Reece since January (when I cut Rae's hair) that I would cut her hair shorter. I LOVE the girls with long hair, so I've been stalling.... Until this week, when Reece went to sleep, undetected, with some Easter gum and woke up with it in her hair. I'm sure I could have probably gotten it out with much work, but decided it was a good time to deliver on my promise. I love her new cut, and so does she. It suits her - cute and fun!

The other pictures are of the girls with Sutton. They (We) are all still very smitten with our little Sutton. She is precious.

Sutton Vian

2009-04-12T14:58:00.000-04:00

Pictures!!!

2009-04-11T20:55:00.002-04:00

The beginning of this year was a big one for Reece. You'll see pics of her getting ready for surgery. She had her tonsils and adenoids removed. (difficult recovery but major blessing!!) We also celebrated her 5th birthday. She had a little celebration with her Montessori Country School class, and a tea party at our home. I also threw in pictures of our extended family having prayer time together, and a few random pics of Elle and Rae. Oh, and the one with us wearing shower caps is when we were fighting off lice....not fun.

It's been a BIG year already! I'm looking forward to seeing what the Lord will do with the rest of 2009. Now that I have my cord back I'll try to be more regular with pics - for you Mom!!

One last note: We celebrated Elle's 2nd bday, but incredibly I don't have any pics of the event!! ....heart sinking.... We had a small family celebration for her. She's so precious and full of life. I just love that girl!! Maybe mom has some pics of the evening...

Over the Initial Shock

2009-04-11T19:57:00.003-04:00

Well, last night was much better. I guess I just needed to get over the initial shock of the recovery process. Thank you, Daphne, for your much needed encouragement! I really appreciate hearing from "those that have gone before me"...

Sutton is such a doll. The girls are all still doing wonderfully with her. They can't get enough of their new baby sister. Elle is such a great big sister already. Reece is a constant - so caring and nurturing. Rae is on top of everything baby, but is still very focused on what she happens to be doing - whatever that may be.

I had a wonderful visit with my dear friend, Meridith, today. She came over and just held Sutton while I napped. Mer knows how to love, especially love on me, and I'm so blessed to have her friendship. She came bearing many gifts - for the girls, she brought crafts, which they loved; for Sutton, she brought three adorable outfits; for me, a bag of goodies: relaxing shampoo and conditioner, the latest and greatest mascara to look fresh, almonds for added protein (did I forget to say they were covered in chocolate......;), and several other thoughtful and fun things. I'm so blessed.

Gavin took Raegan and Reece to the Easter vigil service at the Church of Ascension and St. Agnes, in D.C. - where our dear friends, Sammy and Renee, serve. Father Sam, I should say, is one of the priests there. It's an amazing service - so special. Gavin says it's his favorite service of the entire year. I agree. It's long (2 1/2hrs), but so worth it. The girls got all dressed up in their Easter dresses, and Gavin wore his nice suit and bow tie. They all looked beautiful/handsome. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures tomorrow.

I LOVE Easter! What an amazing season, and what an amazing God we serve.

Happy Easter, everyone!!

In Need of Advice!!!

2009-04-10T17:37:00.003-04:00

Oh my goodness, last night was hard!! C-section recovery is WAY worse than vaginal. Sutton was having a hard night - not a big deal, except that I couldn't get to her. I couldn't sit up, roll over, barely move without help.

HELP!!!! I need some advice from those of you who have had C-sections. Advice? Tips? Words of wisdom?

I'm so spoiled to being able to come home and just take care of the baby...which is a big challenge by itself. I'm NOT used to not being able to do that very well. This is quite different.

I'm all ears.

Counting my Blessings

2009-04-09T19:51:00.003-04:00

I have so much to be thankful for, as I sit here in my room. Gavin is wrestling with Elle on our bed; Marno is braiding Raegan's hair; Reece is walking around brushing her hair having just had a bath; Sutton is sleeping (I'm not sure how) in her cradle; and Mimi is watching it all smiling. This is our first day home since we left on Monday for the hospital.

I definitely envisioned this moment, but could never have anticipated all that would take place from Monday until now...

Reader's digest version: I started having contractions Monday morning around 7:30, called Gavin and asked him to come on home from work around lunch time, headed into the doctor's office and found out that my water had been broken for days (a small pin hole leak), and checked into the hospital by 1:30. After intense labor for 5hrs and no progress, and seeing that the baby was in distress, the doctor determined that I would have to have a c-section. Minutes later I found myself in the operating room. Sutton Vian was born at 6:11pm. ...it was very surreal, and strange, and surprising.

As I've reflected on all that happened, my heart has caught up with my head and I'm so thankful. It would be untruthful to say that I wasn't a little disappointed about not having a boy, or that having a c-section wasn't a sad thing for me. I knew at the time that the most important thing was getting the baby out safely and that having a c-section was NOT a big deal - with tears streaming down my face, it was clear that my heart wasn't there.

I've said from the beginning of this pregnancy that I had released the desire to have a boy. I really do trust the Lord and His divine wisdom in the make-up of our family. I completely want whatever He wants for our family. ...but in these last few weeks I had started to hope for a boy. When I heard we had just given birth to a girl I knew that was God's divine wisdom and was thankful for a healthy baby girl - but my heart wasn't there.

Gavin is amazing. He's so thrilled with our little girl. I know how much he wanted a boy, and yet he is truly thrilled, and content with all our girls. He is so happy.

I talked to my friend, Meredith, the next day and told her that my heart was having a hard time catching up with what I knew to be true. She loves me, and encouraged me to remember that hormones had a lot to do with that, but I knew there was something more. After hanging up the phone, I took a deep breath and started counting my blessings. I haven't stopped since...

The Lord lovingly reminded me of something I already knew. When we had Raegan we were told that I have an inverted pelvic bone. That not only makes the birthing process extremely painful, but also extremely difficult. Raegan, Reece and Eliot were all smaller babies than Sutton. She was over a pound bigger than Elliot, the biggest of the three. Sutton would never have made it through my body.

God is good. I have an inverted pelvic bone and yet I have four babies, three of which made it through my body without major surgery. That is amazing.

God is good. We have four beautiful girls. Raegan is our thinker, Reece is our care-giver, Eliot is our activist, and Sutton is our peace maker. That is amazing. I'm so excited to see how they each develop and grow in their relationships with the Lord, each other, and in these gifts they've been given.

Sutton is precious. She has such a sweet disposition. She's dreamy. My heart is full. I'm so thankful. The girls are beside themselves with excitement. Eliot loves her baby sister. She's already very proud of her. They can't hold Sutton enough.

God is so good. I have SO much to be thankful for, and I am. Thank you all for your loving encouragement.

(I found the cord for my camera and will be uploading pictures tonight!! stay tuned:))

To the Three

2009-03-31T04:51:00.002-04:00

This is a letter I just finished writing to the three men the Lord used to bring redemption to our marriage nine years ago. It was 4:00 in the morning when I began writing, awoken with this on my heart...

To Jon, Jeremy and Stephen,

I find my cup overflowing with thankfulness for the three of you, as I'm awoken this Tuesday morning. I've heard Gavin say on multiple occasions that had the three of you patted him on the back that dark October night in 2000, and told him not to feel bad - everything was going to be okay, that the two of us would most likely not be where we are today. Through your love the Lord brought redemption to our marriage that we continue to walk out - that night.

I always dreamed of having a husband that was a spiritual leader, loved me and our children - but truly, I never imagined a husband and father as amazing as Gavin is, and is continuing to become. I was flipping through one of the random bibles we have lying around the house in the middle of the night recently and was led to Hebrews... it was the very bible that Gavin had used during those three days of death. It was marked up with red pen and at one point a line was drawn to the bottom of the page, pointing to words he had written, "I am an adulterer". My heart sank and at the same time was overwhelmed with thankfulness. It sank because my heart hurt for the man that wrote those words, in great pain and revelation, and was overwhelmed because that is not the man I am married to anymore...nor have been since that day.

In our current community we are dealing with a need for church discipline. We have gotten a LOT of push back. There is a severe lack of understanding where church discipline is concerned. Too many are focused on the Grace of our Lord Jesus and fail to realize that very grace is not extended unless there is repentance. The prayer of my heart is that the Lord would rise up His body to come around this family in need. He is stirring, and has been for some time. We're so thankful to see all that He is doing - but this family hangs over a flaming fire that is hungry to devour it... Though the mom and her four children are living with us, and have been since January, we had no previous relationship with them. Gavin has done his part faithfully, but the Body is what is needed and sorely lacking. Church discipline, done properly and led by the Spirit, has almost completely disappeared from our current religious structure - this is the most damning aspect of the modern "church".

I praise the Lord everyday, but especially recently, for the way He covered us during that pivotal season in our marriage. That we were NOT left out to dry; that we had intimate relationships around us and men that cared enough about Gavin not to let him loose everything; that were led by the Spirit; that saw church discipline as mercy instead of "judgment", (righteous anger as loving instead of condemning - that yelled at him, and loved him in the same breathe). I know who my Redeemer is, but I also know who He used that night and the three days to follow.....and I'll never forget it.

Our marriage was dead for three days, and on the third day resurrected and given new life. This Easter season, I'm reminded of the One who made that possible, and the one's he choose to use. I love you, my brothers.

The Christ in me sees the Christ in you,
em

Reece is FIVE!!!

2009-03-05T00:50:00.002-05:00

We celebrated our precious Reece's 5th birthday this week. It is truly hard to get my mind wrapped around the fact that she is five years old! Wow.

What a precious little one, she is. Gavin and I are ever amazed at her thankful and appreciative heart. She's always quick to say thank you. Reece truly appreciates everything she has. We were talking tonight about how many times she has thanked us for her little party on Saturday, or her gift, or....you name it.

We hosted her 5th birthday party at our house this year. My friend, Linda, gave me a great idea to only have a big party on the special birthdays...like 5, 10, 13, 16, 18 - I LOVE this idea. The other years will just be family dinners with cake and a few balloons. (I can't have a birthday go down in my house without at least a dozen balloons....I'm just sayin')

It was a tea party/brunch theme, with white hats and gloves and all the trimmings. Because several of the little girls commented on how they didn't like tea, or their mommy said they couldn't have tea, the beverage of choice was apple juice which we pretended was tea. We also had an assortment of scones and breads.

The big expense was having a face painter come and treat the girls. This was not part of the original plan, but after having missed out on a face painting opportunity a few weeks ago, I decided to check on the rates for a private party. It was a little pricey, but since it was our only major expense for the party we were able to justify it. The girls loved it.

Tuesday was her actual birthday and we celebrated at Don Pablos...our birthday place for some reason. Everyone likes it. Reece wore the little sombrero and opened presents from family.

Today her teacher, Mrs. Rouse, did her special observance of Reece's birthday. She tells a story about the birthday child every year....it is so precious. Reece felt so special. We passed out mini cupcakes and fruit to everyone. It was a big hit.

So, Reece has pretty successfully carried on the "Brown girl" bday tradition: subconsciously stretch out your bday celebration for as long as you possibly can! Yay, Reece!

I'm still looking for my cord to be able to upload pictures. ....coming soon.

What I LOVE about Reece:
hilarious!
fashion-ista
trend setter
confident
sweet
beautiful
smart
ingenuitive
creative
artistic
strong
thankful heart
loving
nurturing
mischievous (at times)
aspiring musician
humble
servant's heart

I love my Reece EmmaKay. Thank you, Lord, for this precious and priceless gift. I know that she is Yours, but I'm SO thankful to be with her as she grows into the amazing little woman you have created her to be. Bless her and keep her. May your face shine upon her. Please fill her with purpose that she may live a life worthy of the calling you have placed on her. And give her peace forever.

Thank you, Lord, for Reece!!

Church Discipline

2009-02-26T13:59:00.003-05:00

I've been studying this topic today because we are dealing with an issue that requires such action. As I've been studying the passages that apply, and reading articles from church leaders throughout time, I'm struck with a righteous anger.

It occurs to me that the absence of church discipline may possibly be the leading cause of the rising divorce rate within the Christian community.

I want to repeat that: The absence of CHURCH DISCIPLINE may be the LEADING cause of the RISING DIVORCE RATE WITHIN THE CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY.

Church discipline has gotten a bad reputation throughout the years due to either not being done according to the biblical guidelines or using it for the purpose of excommunication. The purpose of church discipline is NOT for excommunication. It is for the purpose of RESTORATION and RECONCILIATION! Excommunication can be a consequence of church discipline, but even that is still for the purpose of ultimate restoration and reconciliation.

My mom fought through over six years of submitting herself to my dad (six years of him lying about his affairs, being caught, becoming violent towards her, etc.) - literally laying down her life, her rights, her dignity - for his salvation. The church never stepped in and enacted church discipline. Why?!!! My dad was a deacon! My mom was a teacher. They were both very active in the church. Everyone knew my family. It's not like we were just some family that attended some local congregation.

The church turned it's back on it's responsibility to discipline my dad and their marriage was, therefore, given over to the enemy. It's been 10 and half years since that nightmare began, and we are all still dealing with the aftermath.

How common is this?! I shutter to think about the answer to that question.

What are we doing Church?! How many more marriages and families will we hand over to the enemy?! Let it not be, oh Lord! Have mercy on your church, and let it not be!! Rise up, CHURCH! What has the Lord required of you? To DO justly, LOVE mercy, and WALK humbly with the Lord your God. Rise UP!!

There are many interesting articles I found during my study. Here is one from bible.org regarding the reason, benefit, spirit behind and process of church discipline. Here is another article by Al Mohler that I found insightful.

Looking for the Profound...and coming up short

2009-02-25T13:42:00.002-05:00

I've had the desire to blog lately but not the revelation.... I find myself avoiding laundry, taking advantage of little moments with Elle, driving the girls back and forth to school, catching up on emails, thinking about what I need for the new little one's arrival, cooking dinner, cleaning up after dinner...functioning.

There are some activities that transcend "functioning", namely our prayer times. I love our prayer times every night. Those are such sweet times together as a whole family. No matter how chaotic the day (or the 30min. just before) has been, our prayer time always ushers in such a powerful blanket of peace over the house. Each night looks different, but each night is special.

Things are still going well with our added family members. Brandon is very much so entering into adolescence. He's a smart kid. He's also a special boy - he has a special place in Gavin's heart, but it's still a challenge. Each of the children are special, in their own way, and we're so thankful to be a part of their lives.

I'm trying to balance raising our girls with the high standards we've always had for them and at the same time ease the other children into knowing what to expect. We have to have the same standards for all the children - there is no other option, but we do expect it to be a process...

We're finishing our second month together and all the children are doing wonderfully. It's not easy, but it is worth it. Brandon is a typical big brother - picking on all the girls (especially Rae - she seems to attract this kind of attention...apple having not fallen far from tree...). Raegan and Kaira play great together and are great buds. Reece and Gia are two peas in a pod. They get along beautifully and are also great friends. Elle loves Justice and tries to take great care of him.....tries being the optimal word there.... She also loves playing with all the big kids. There is no way to convince this one she's only two...(in a few weeks).

Athena, their mom, is tired, but doing well. She longs for this to all be over. Please pray for her.

(All the children are in bed by 8:00, at the latest, and "adult time" begins:)) Our evenings are spent either catching up on TiVo, laughing together (we have lots of laughter in our home), praying together, counseling each other, making treats once the children have all gone to bed - a kid's worst nightmare!!, but all of it is just living life together.

I want to paint a realistic picture. I hope I have. Bottom line is that we need prayer for wisdom and insight, peace, and health. But, living in community is something Gavin and I have been designed for and we can't imagine life looking any different. We covet your thoughts and prayers. We love you, dear friends.

Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T12:15:00.002-05:00

The gift my husband has given me this year is priceless!! I'm sitting in bed watching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, reading friend's blogs....and hiding for a few hours. Yay!!

I do also have a sleeping baby here beside me (Justice) and Eliot unplugging and re-plugging my computer. She's being very quiet so as not to wake Justice.

We're going to dinner tonight. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with my boy.

Elle just found my coffee from this morning (grinning over the top of the rim at me). She's currently going through my bedside table drawers.

Athena and I surprised the kids this morning with lots of red heart balloons and goodie bags, with Miles Davis playing in the background. They loved it.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Eliot Katherine

2009-02-12T09:30:00.002-05:00

I have the rare blessing of being home alone with my dearest little Elle for a few hours this morning. She delights me.

Here are a few words that describe her:
Confident
Independent
Love-bug
Tease
Smart
Helpful
Funny
Ingenuitive
Curious
Strong
Fiesty
Beautiful
Extraordianary
Delightful
Precious
Great singer
Big girl

She started sleeping in the big bed with Reece a few nights ago and hasn't skipped a beat. I sent her up for her nap yesterday and by the time I got up there (maybe two minutes later) she was already asleep. The queen bed she and Reece share looked enormous with her little body right in the middle of it.

One of my greatest joys is hearing her sing in the car, at the top of her lungs. She knows almost every song that plays on our local Christian radio station. .....ah, what a blessing. I can't even begin to explain how beautiful it is. I pray I never forget that sound.

I can't believe how quickly she is growing up. Elle is such a joy. I'm amazed by her daily.

Thank you, Lord, for your many blessings. You are good - whether I see it or not - but I'm so thankful for the way you reveal Your goodness through Raegan, Reece and Elle. You are good, Lord. Not to us, but to your Name be the glory!

I'm Back!

2009-02-10T20:57:00.002-05:00

So much has happened since I last blogged and much to talk about. I'll try to be brief.

First, Jenny and Nick left for their trip on January 3rd. We've heard from them several times and they are doing great. Please keep them in your prayers. If you're curious here is Jen's website, and here is Nick's website.

Reece had her tonsils and adenoids removed the first week of January. We were having them removed because of sleep apnea, but found out after they were removed that they were actually rotting inside of her little body!!! What a HUGE blessing to have had them removed before she had any complications. Though she did BEAUTIFULLY before the surgery and during, the recovery was very difficult. It took a solid month before she was back to herself. The apnea was gone the first night, but she was in so much pain. I'm not a great nurse as it is........by day 10 I was over it. We made it through and she is back to her sweet, adorable self!! Praise the Lord!!

Finally, for the year that Nick is gone my friend, Athena, and her four children are living with us. Athena has been through a nightmare with her husband, Damion. It's such a long story and crazy. I wouldn't believe it were I not there to witness it myself. The Lord is definitely moving and we have seen so much fruit.

Brandon is 10, Kaira is 7, Giana is 4, and Justice is 7 months old. They are precious. (pictures to follow soon)

We run a really tight ship but the Woodson children have fallen in line beautifully and love their new routine. We all have dinner by 6:30pm, everyone pitches in to clean the kitchen, wipe down the table and sweep. Next we have prayer time together around 7:15 (which is so precious - our worship time together is even more wonderful with them here.). Everyone is in their rooms by 8:00 at the latest. They know that anything after that is getting into adult time and that is NOT taken lightly.

Every other weekend the kids go with their dad, as well as, dinner every Wednesday from 5 - 7pm. The transition times are always difficult. The kids never want to go with their dad, though they love him very much, and they always come back a little confused and disoriented - especially Brandon.

We have been under a lot of attack - spiritually and physically, but we have also been so blessed, overwhelmed with His blessing! The kids all get along so beautifully and play very sweetly together. We have family meetings and talk about any issues that arise on a weekly basis. We have also allow the kids to plan activities for the month to come. As a result this coming Valentine's weekend is a BIG one! Friday night we'll be bowling. Saturday morning is breakfast at IHOP. Monday is ice skating at Reston Town Center..... whew! They are so excited and we're all looking forward to treating them to a fun weekend, as well.

Prayer requests right now:
Peace that passes all understanding - we've been so blessed with an abundance of peace and pray that it continues - despite the chaotic storm the Woodson's are in.
Health - It's hard enough to be submitted to the Spirit when you feel great, much less when there is sickness...
Healing and Redemption - for the Woodson family.
Protection - Gavin is very much on the front lines of the spiritual battle going on around us.

(The pregnancy is going well. I'm very tired this time through. I haven't felt great the entire time, though I do have days where I feel like myself. I feel a lot of closure this time. We are in NO way closing the door on more children (we've talked about adoption before we had Raegan), but I do feel like I have "permission" for this to be my last pregnancy. I have a lot of peace about it. Also, this is either Sutton Vian or Judah Patrick Gavin - it's official:))

much love, dear friends. Thank you for your love and concern - and especially your prayers.

Hairbows and Undershirts:)

2008-12-19T08:02:00.002-05:00

The girls got hair bows and under shirts this morning. These are NOT the undershirts we used to get when we were kids!!:) ...tres cool.

Here are some pics

Countdown Presents

2008-12-17T16:59:00.002-05:00

So I decided a few days ago that I needed to blog about "Countdown Presents" and then my friend, Laura, asked about it yesterday, so I am compelled:)

Countdown Presents are a wonderful tradition in our home, started by our matriarch, Mom Stalvey (my mom's mother). I don't know how she came up with this fun tradition, but she told me this week that we, the grandchildren, are the ones that actually came up with the name "Countdown Presents". My mom has continued the tradition with my children, and my brother's children.

What is it? It is a gift for each of the twelve days preceding Christmas day. It's so much fun! Mom Stalvey continued the Countdown presents through our sixteenth birthday. I'm assuming Mom will do the same. The girls love it!! They look forward with great expectation every morning to see what they will open. It's never anything big, but always something fun or meaningful. The girls are never disappointed.

I don't feel like I'm giving this sweet tradition due credit. I can't wait to continue on this tradition for my grandchildren!

Cookie time

2008-12-16T14:21:00.004-05:00

Jenny, my sister, decided we needed to bake cookies on Sunday, so she led the way! It was great fun. There is more Christmas cookie baking ahead of us. We have to make four dozen for a cookie exchange this Sunday for girl scouts, but this was fun....especially since I just got to watch and take pictures:)

(the guy in the picture is our friend, Nick, who has lived with us for the past two years. He's leaving for the World Race through Adventures in Missions in January for a year. Jenny is going back, but as a leader this time and only for 4-5 months. Keep them in your prayers. They leave Jan. 3rd!)

I also threw in some pictures of our decorated space.

Mom, the girls LOVED their outfits this morning - the #9 countdown present. They all wore their outfits today. Here's Reece in hers. She especially loved the way her shirt feels so soft. She told me when she got in the car that she let everyone feel her shirt...but not her pants..:)

Recent pics of Elle

2008-12-16T14:05:00.003-05:00

The girls were inspired by one of their "countdown presents" to dress up as cowgirls and dance around the room to country music....Alabama was the band of choice this particular time. (I should say here that I am not a country fan. Though there is a bit of a cowgirl in me, I'm more of a DixieChick:))

The other picture of Elle is her playing Chef and restaurant with her sisters.

Sister fun and Gingerbread...

2008-12-12T13:18:00.005-05:00

Here are a few happy pics from the Long family. I realized, as I was looking back over my blog, that I've been Debbie-downer for the past few weeks. Well, I'm coming out from under my cloud and fully embracing this wonderful, fantastic, magical time of year!! I truly love Christmas and the magic that fills the air during this season.

We're in full Advent mode. We get our "prize" each night out of the (two) Advent calendars and read a story that builds up to Christmas Eve. Each Sunday is a special Advent celebration with candles, special drink and snack. It's so much fun. I've added pictures of our calendars and some other pics, as well.

The girls made a gingerbread train last night. It fell down over night but they had fun putting it together. Elle had fun eating the decorations.

It's the most wonderful time of the year! And I really am enjoying every moment. I pray you are, as well!

Merry Christmas!

Tribute to Elsie

2008-12-09T13:17:00.003-05:00

We found out this past Thursday evening that Gavin's beloved grandmother, Elsie Costner Jacumin, had passed away. She was 95 years old and lived a long and full life. She volunteered everyday "helping the seniors" at a local nursing home, up until the day she died. Elsie still had her license and drove, legally, and maintained a garden in her back yard. She was always on the go and helping others.

Elsie started serving others early in life when she dropped out of school in third grade (like so many of that day) to go to work for her family. She was the oldest of eleven children and served them all. They all testify of her service and care.

Gavin wrote the liturgy for the funeral on Sunday and ended up officiating, as well. I was honored to sing a few songs for the celebration of her life. Raegan wrote a story about her great-grandmother and read it during the eulogy. It was a very moving service.

Though we celebrate the long life she had and the legacy she has left behind, we are sad to loose her. She was very healthy, so her death came as a shock. Gavin and his family are still mourning her passing. Please keep them in your prayers through this holiday season.

Give all your loved ones a big hug this Christmas season!
much love,
em

Mixed Emotions

2008-12-02T09:54:00.003-05:00

I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving. What a wonderful time of year to reflect on all God has blessed us with. The beginning of our Thanksgiving was joyous. Mom came up and we had a great Thanksgiving feast with our friends, Athena and her four children, and Athena's mom, Lona. We had dance-off's with the kids, had the parade going on in the background, watched Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving, talked, sang, sent "cheers" around the table for all we were thankful for, talked some more...and definitely ate!!:)

Raegan did an amazing job dancing as the Meritoll doll in the Nutcracker; two performances on Saturday and one on Sunday. Then mom headed for home after the first performance, after being with us for 4 wonderful days.

...enter mixed feelings, stage right...

Dad and Dorothy came up on Saturday evening for a second round of Thanksgiving festivities. This is the first time she has been in our home. My countenance immediately falls, and I get a pit in my stomach, every time I think about this, or thought about it over the past few weeks. I knew they would be there when Raegan and I returned home Saturday evening from The Nutcracker (I volunteered all day backstage, during both performances). The wonderful thing is that our friends, the Pryor's, were also coming that night. They were stopping over for one night on their way on up to Marblehead, MA - the whole family!!! (including their newborn that we hadn't met yet:))

It was great visiting with the Pryor's, holding that precious little Kiara, visiting with the rest of the kids: Kelsey, Jackson, Sydney and Elisa, having our family prayer time together with them before bed, and staying up WAY too late talking with Jeremy, April, Jen and Athena. (Thankfully Dad and D went to bed soon after we arrived home so I didn't have to deal with those emotions yet.)

We had another nice Thanksgiving feast Sunday afternoon, then headed out, our family and Dad and D, to watch the last performance of The Nutcracker. Raegan did such a great job!! It was great to finally get to see her do her thing. (I hadn't gotten to see any of the performances on Saturday because of helping out in the dressing rooms) Everyone did a great job. Elle even sat through the entire performance this year!!!!!

Dad and D just left (Tuesday morning) and I still feel sick. I realized last night as Gavin and I were lying in bed talking about everything, that I hadn't even looked up since Sunday evening. I don't even want to look at her...and you know I'm a big eye contact girl... I'm sad. ...I'm sad.

I'm repulsed by her. There is nothing lovely or attractive about her. ...Nothing!

And yet...

Rom 5:7-8 (NIV)
7Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

While we were repulsive to Him, Christ sacrificed himself for us...

This has been a great sacrifice and we will be having a LOT of conversations with the girls this afternoon and the days and weeks to come, about all they saw and heard.

Did we do the right thing? I have no idea. I believe we did what we were supposed to do ...but it may take me a few days to come out from under this dark cloud.

Your prayers and thoughts are appreciated.

Inconclusive Results

2008-11-23T22:54:00.002-05:00

Hi sweet friends,

I did go to the doctor this past Friday for my mid-term ultrasound, but unfortunately the results were inconclusive. I'm not too upset about this. I think it will be nice to be surprised. I'm pretty positive we're having a girl. So here's the name we're thinking of....I know this is a risky move....but I'm really excited about the name and want to share it: Sutton Vian.

Sutton means "from the south town" and Vian means "full of life".

Our back up boy name is still up in the air. I love Elijah (Eli), and Judah (Jude); Finnegan (Fin) has been in the running for years. Gavin loves Abraham (Abe)... We can't come to any agreement on this one.

I'd love to hear your thoughts, but absolutely NO pressure. I know you love us despite the odd names we choose for our children.

much love,
em

Nutcracker 08

2008-11-22T10:25:00.003-05:00

This is a picture from our local newspaper, of Raegan in her doll costume for the Nutcracker performance next weekend. We are in full swing with rehearsals. Rae is practicing today from 10-12 and 1-3, then dress rehearsal tomorrow. The first two performances are on Saturday (Thanksgiving weekend), and the third is on Sunday evening.

Here's a link the article.

It's comin' on Christmas!!

A Day of Counting My Blessings

2008-11-17T20:47:00.002-05:00

Today was a difficult day, but also one of counting my blessings. The Lord has been blessing me with many opportunities lately to praise Him for His many blessings. The sickness in our home has caused me to thank the Lord for the blessing of health....a lot. A precious friend suffering a loss has caused me to thank Him for the three little girls He has blessed me with. Being short on vehicles has caused me to thank Him for the numerous ways He provides for our needs. ...just to name a few.

Today I was moved to thank Him for my amazing husband, loving family, and treasured community around the country. I spent the day in the court room supporting a friend of mine who is going through a legal battle to save her family. The court system is such a manipulative, twisted, and crippling.... I don't even have words... It is a very difficult thing to sit and witness such manipulation and twisting of the truth, all for the sake of winning a case. ...so many lies, so much deception... it truly is the enemy's playground - and not place for Christians to settle disputes.

Paul spoke of this very thing:

1 Corinthians 6
1-4And how dare you take each other to court! When you think you have been wronged, does it make any sense to go before a court that knows nothing of God's ways instead of a family of Christians? The day is coming when the world is going to stand before a jury made up of followers of Jesus. If someday you are going to rule on the world's fate, wouldn't it be a good idea to practice on some of these smaller cases? Why, we're even going to judge angels! So why not these everyday affairs? As these disagreements and wrongs surface, why would you ever entrust them to the judgment of people you don't trust in any other way?

A Quick Update

2008-11-12T11:28:00.002-05:00

We're all sick in the Long household. Health is such a gift. These moments remind me how blessed we are to have our health.

We find out the gender of our baby on the 21st. I was trying to convince Gavin to be surprised but he doesn't do well with surprises.....:) I'm excited to know, also. One of the things I love most about being pregnant is the joy of praying specifically over the little one as he/she is growing and developing.

The prayer the Lord gave me, while I was pregnant with Rae, was that she would be a warrior for the Kingdom and would be bold in her witness. I've been amazed to see how the Lord has already developed this in her little faith.

With Reece, my prayer was that others would be drawn to Christ through her great love. I'm constantly in awe of the love she pours out to those around her.

With Elle, I kept getting the word "justice". So as I prayed for her to be one that would seek out justice in the midst of injustice, I also prayed for her to have a heart of compassion. We'll see how that develops.

With this little one, I keep getting the word "loyalty". That's interesting.

Just to be clear, I don't think there's any magic in these prayers. It's more like the Lord clues me in to how he's already gifted them. I LOVE that!! What a blessing.

I will definitely post the gender when I know (thanks for asking, Julie:)).

So Proud To Be a Part of History!

2008-11-06T13:12:00.004-05:00

Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
or, whine, Israel, saying,
"God has lost track of me.
He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
they walk and don't lag behind.
Isaiah 40:27-31

Our trust and hope is in the Lord!! Our prayers continue to be that Pres. elect Obama will be steadfast in his hope in the Lord and will lead, doing justly, loving mercy and walking humbly with the Lord, our God! We are SO thrilled to be a part of making history. May the Lord continue to have mercy on our country.

much love,
em

I'm still moved to tears...

Christmas List

2008-10-28T10:18:00.003-04:00

(I'm writing this so I won't forget it.)

I've begun getting together a list of Christmas items so that I can budget out how to pay for everything over the next few months. It's easy for me to pick Raegan's three gifts. She tells us all throughout the year the things she wants - she has an agenda!!! But as I started to fill in Reece's three blanks, I drew a ....blank.

A few days later Reece and I were sitting on the couch together and I casually asked her what she would like for Christmas. She thought for a moment and said with a big smile on her face..."maybe a light bulb for our night light, 'cause it keeps flickering at night....or....a...picture of Jesus....Mommy you can get me whatever you like" followed by a big hug.

That is Reece EmmaKay Long. She is a beautiful blend of sweet, mischievous, compassionate and care-taker. She blesses me.

Really?!

2008-10-15T00:10:00.001-04:00

I know it looks like I've posted for two days in a row regarding nothing about family life....but in my defense it's only been 11 minutes since my last post. I just thought this was really funny. Now I'm going to bed.

Special Comment for McCain

2008-10-14T23:29:00.002-04:00

(Julie, I promise I'm going to get back to family stuff:) Thanks so much for your comment! You're sweet. Kim, morning sickness has been brutal and has definitely affected my motivation to email, talk on the phone, do laundry ....blog:) I'm in my 16th week, but hopefully it won't last too much longer. Thanks for asking!)

I've been extremely appalled at the hatred I've seen at the McCain rallies. Even around here Obama signs are being stolen and knocked down. I've never seen this kind of hatred fostered in an election. It's shocking.

Hatred exists. We all know this. However, the most shocking part is that McCain isn't doing ANYTHING about it, much less Sarah Palin. Shame on them both!

Register to Vote!!

2008-10-03T00:47:00.002-04:00

The deadline for many states is October 4th.

Please excuse some of the language in this video, but it's still worth the listen:) Pass it on!

Whew! That was fun!

2008-09-21T11:15:00.002-04:00

I have so enjoyed talking with you all, and hearing your thoughts on this very important election. Thanks for all your input!

This has been an exciting political season already. We've had so many theological discussions, with so many friends, around this topic of politics and the Christian's role.

It's been incredibly stimulating for me. I haven't had this much adult conversation and interaction around a topic, other than children, in quite some time. Thanks!!

Speaking to a dear friend of mine the other day, he told me how much he hates politics because it's so divisive. I agree that it certainly can be, and we've all witnessed that fruit at some point throughout the years. But I appreciate and value being able to speak to these very important issues, and debate, much the same way men debate over who the best baseball team is, etc.

Ultimately, God is sovereign and completely in control. Praise the Lord!! Though I believe it is important for Christians to be known by our love and service - in all aspects including politics - it is a wonderful thing to know that either way we are unified by the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We are building a kingdom that is not of this world. God is good and He is worthy of my trust.

I'm sure there will be more political talk to come, but in the mean time, know that I value you and your opinions. I encourage us all to be educated in our decisions, keep far from any spirit of divisiveness or mockery, and above all be known by our love.

much love,
em

Why Abortion is a Red Herring in this Election

2008-09-15T14:55:00.002-04:00

First, let me begin by addressing my dear friend, Kim.
Kim, I'm sorry I didn't even see your last comment asking me about how we deal with the whole abortion issue on my Palin post. When I wrote that last post (Obama vs. McCain) it was in response to your comment about the Obama campaign needing to refocus. I was only addressing that point. I would be more than happy to talk about how we can reconcile voting for Obama despite his pro-choice stance.

Before I get into the depths of why I believe the issue of Abortion is a Red Herring in this election, here is a link to my sister's page, further speaking to why we have chosen to vote for Obama, as Christians, despite his pro-choice stance.

A Red Herring is a term meaning: something intended to divert attention from the real problem or matter at hand (dictionary.com)

We find ourselves in a different circumstance than we did twelve years ago. Back then we had a president with the intent of furthering abortion laws and pro-choice rights. We had a President that signed into existence partial-birth abortion. Eight years ago, I voted majorly on the issue of abortion because President Bush had plans to reverse the partial-birth abortion act and made it a major piece of his platform.

If Hillary were the first name on this ticket for President....abortion would be a MAJOR issue, yet again. She also had plans to further abortion laws and pro-choice rights. She is a heavy proponent of abortion.

However, that is NOT the case in THIS election.

Some background, quickly: Abortion rates are lower than they have been in over three decades. An article from Time magazine talks about how no one can figure out why this is. Each side is offering their own reasons and claiming credit, but one option that is not present in this article, that I believe is most relevant, is the work of the Church.

Women's shelters around this world, Christian-based clinics focused on educating and loving rather than judging, I believe are to be credited for this thirty-five year low. The Church was impassioned by Roe v. Wade. I call it "the awakening of the political Christian". Christians chose different ways to combat this new reality. Some began lobbyist groups and spent their time on Capitol Hill. Some chose to judge. Many others chose to open up their homes, clinics, shelters to a lost and hurting world - understanding, that for a woman (whose life was not in danger) to be so morally bankrupt and desperate that she would consider taking the life of an innocent baby, meant that she was in great need!! These Christians have turned back the rates of abortion. They have put their faith into action. They have changed the world. There is still much to be done, but how you and I chose to fight may differ.

Abortion is a Red Herring in THIS election because Obama has no plans to further abortion laws or the pro-choice movement. You can see here that he has no plans of reversing Roe v. Wade, but also has no plans of expanding the pro-choice agenda. He also challenges Democrats and pro-choice advocates to consider the moral dimension, too often over looked.

Furthermore, McCain has NO agenda regarding abortion or Roe v. Wade. Even with Pres. Bush in office, one who had the abortion issue as one of the key issues of his platform, hasn't done anything to reverse Roe v. Wade.

We must fight for life! Voting for McCain, however, does not accomplish that goal. This fight is won in our homes; with our children, first; and then in our neighborhoods, and towns, and cities.

The issue of abortion is a distraction in this particular election. We need to be focused, as Christians, on how we can truly live out Matthew 25; being our brothers and our sisters keeper; to the family loosing their home to foreclosure, the family so overwhelmed with medical bills they can hardly keep their heads above water, the homeless man we see or pass every day, sitting in the same spot month after month, the small business going down because they can't compete with the chains.

As only ONE example, since this is already too long: Trickle down economics has worked to some degree, we saw that to be true in the 80's with Reagan. The difference between then and now, is that our trickle down economics is now trickling down into India, and small town America is dying! Obama is not trying to get those jobs back (as was falsely stated during the RNC), but wants to get rid of the tax break for companies taking jobs overseas and give it to companies willing to create and keep jobs here. That doesn't mean big companies can't continue their practices overseas, it just means they won't be rewarded for it, by the government. McCain thinks the economy is in good standing (Aug. 20, 2008) and yet the second largest investment bank, Lehman Bros., filed for bankruptcy today.

When our fellow brothers and sisters are loosing jobs and homes and health insurance, we as Christians, need to be stepping in to help; fighting for those who can't fight for themselves. There's so much more to say, but this isn't the proper forum to completely express my thoughts. I hope you can get the idea of what I'm talking about with Matt 25 and how we need to broaden our scope beyond abortion when voting in this upcoming election.

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this. ...to be continued.

Obama vs. McCain not Palin

2008-09-14T15:35:00.002-04:00

I promise I'm going to get back to what's going on in our family life. My dear friend made a comment on my last entry about how the Obama camp needs to refocus on McCain instead of Palin since he is the one Obama is running against.

I've posted this video because it's the press asking Obama why he's not engaging Palin more, and instead only speaking publicly about (going after) McCain... The media is going after Palin, and rightfully so - due diligence, not the Obama camp. The media has gone after Obama since he entered the race - again, due diligence. If she can't handle this scrutiny than she should not have stepped into the ring.

I appreciate that she is pro-life, as am I. But, with all the concerns of this country, I can not vote on only ONE issue. I've had so many "christians" questioning the faith of me and my family because of our choices to support Obama, that it is, frankly, ridiculous and extremely Pharisaical. When asked these absurd questions regarding the status of our faith, we refer them to Matthew 25.

...speaking of Matthew 25, here's a great website my friend, Wendi, sent me this week! Check it out!

Sarah Palin....WHAT?!

2008-09-12T14:20:00.005-04:00

I listened to Sarah Palin's acceptance speech at the RNC. I must say that I was impressed by her, despite her lack of experience (and blatant arrogance). I liked her feisty attitude toward frivolous spending.

It turns out the things I liked about her, she was actually lying about!!!

I also think it's completely ridiculous that the McCain campaign is trying to tout her "experience" as Mayor of a 6,000 member town and less than two years as Governor of Alaska as more relevant than the combined experience of both Obama and Biden! I guess that makes her minimal experience more relevant than McCain's, as well. Seriously?!

She is the least experienced VP candidate in American history - as a running mate to the oldest candidate in American history. ...really.

I don't get the excitement...

Weekend in NY

2008-09-08T13:49:00.002-04:00

I mentioned in an earlier post that we spent a weekend in NY with our friends, the Wood's. We've never taken a bus trip before! It was so much fun. We rented an apartment - which we have done before. It's such a fun way to stay in the city. You really feel like a local:) ...getting a legitimate deal isn't an easy thing to accomplish, but if you can it's the best way!

We all took the children to see Mary Poppins on Broadway. Everyone loved it - even the daddy's:) Here are a few pictures from Renee's camera. I still haven't uploaded any pictures I've taken this summer. I'm such a slacker!!

"Pizza and a movie" night

2008-09-05T20:49:00.003-04:00

Tonight was our first "pizza and a movie" night in months. This is something we look forward to all week. Tonight we watched "Nim's Island". It was a very cute movie. I love how the dad is the hero who is able to do the impossible.

I'm very happy for the routine the school year brings. I definitely needed Rae's kindergarten year to break me in last year. You don't realize what a free spirit you are until you are made to stay put for extended months.....yuck. I rebelled, at first. But this year I'm finding it a source of comfort. We'll see if I feel the same way in a few months:)

I'm also trying to get back to blogging regularly. Thus, this random entry.

I am in the midst of preparing a blog comparing the two Conventions (DNC/RNC). I made myself sit through every night of the RNC - it was painful! The two conventions could not have been more different. I also sat, like a student, taking notes on every word of McCain's speech. I want to compare his against Obama's, in the matter of actual substance and plan for the future. I can already tell you there is no comparison...but I'm getting ahead of myself.

blessings, dear friends, and all my love - no matter who you vote for:)

Pregnant!!

2008-09-04T12:43:00.002-04:00

On the way up to Cambridge, at the beginning of August, I noticed that I was having trouble getting a deep breath. I commented to Gavin that I felt like I was so stressed out from Dad's visit with us that I couldn't even catch my breath.

While in Cambridge, the topic of babies came up a lot, quite randomly. I even told our friends about a "vision" I had a few years ago, before we were even pregnant with Elle, about having twins boys. (Gavin and I have talked ever since about possibly adopting our twin boys from Africa.) Anyway, on the way home Gavin and I talked about how funny it was that there was so much baby talk.

Now I should preface here that over the eleven years of our marriage I have never been on birth control because when I tried it a few months before our wedding it made me crazy. My PCOS kicked in after that which made me always very irregular. When I was diagnosed with PCOS this past year I started taking birth control again.

Whenever asked if we were finished having children, I always said that we were open to having more but were trending in the wrong direction (being on birth control for the first time in our marriage).

I've taken so many pregnancy tests over the years - so many being negative. Needless to say I was completely SHOCKED when I took one, that next week, and it said positive!! I admit that July was an off month for me - taking the pill here and there, but I was still very shocked.

We're so excited!! I haven't been to the OB yet because of being out of town and having trouble getting an appointment I can get to, but I'm pretty sure this will be another March baby. I was waiting to say anything official until I had gone to the Dr. but it's taking too long:) Gavin and I can never keep a secret about ourselves....hahaha

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers!
much love,
em

...still here

2008-09-03T20:26:00.003-04:00

summary of August:

the house in Cambridge closed!!
Raegan and Reece spent a week with mom at "Camp Marneaux"
Gavin, Elle and I drove up to Cambridge to get the last of our things
wonderful visit with the Ryan's and the Putnam's
we were home a few days before heading down to Orlando
Mom, Jen and our family greatly enjoyed Universal Studios - fun!
Gavin, the girls and I stayed at Dad and Dorothy's one night on the way home.
...it was a very hard decision, but also a very good thing...I'm sure I'll write more about that later
on the way back up to Va we spent a weekend in Durham/Chapel Hill, NC
we stayed with our friends, the Chapman's, who we haven't seen in years
our nephew, Daniel was married, and we loved celebrating with the family
we spent the next night with our oldest and dearest friends, the Morrison's
breakfast and lunch the next day were with my cousin and his family, the Horton's
a few days later we took a bus up to NY to meet the Wood's
we stayed in a tiny NYC apartment (all of us)
saw Mary Poppins on Broadway
bus trip home with the Wood's
week of decompressing
school begins
Raegan began first grade without best friend, Megan
Reece began preschool without best friend, Margeux
everything is going swimmingly
I'm easing my way back into civilization
elaborate more later....I hope
oh, and....I'm pregnant:)

Wonderful trip to Cambridge

2008-08-05T11:47:00.003-04:00

While Raegan and Reece are in NC visiting my mom, Gavin and I decided it would be a good time to drive up to Cambridge and get the last of our things that were still in the basement. So on Thursday we loaded up the Odyssey, and Gavin, myself and Eliot drove 10 hrs before arriving at our dear friends, Jon and Jennie's house in Marblehead, MA.

There were three major highlights to the trip.

Jon and Jennie have been a major part of our lives since we lived in Marblehead ten years ago. It was such a joy to be with them in their new, gorgeous home. We also got to meet their new son, Sam. All three of their beautiful ones are adopted from China. Sam is the newest addition and he completely stole my heart. To be completely truthful all three of those little ones have a special place in my heart - along with the other "MNG" babies.

We headed into Cambridge on Friday to assess how much "stuff" we would bringing back with us and how much would be thrown away. I couldn't believe all the valuable things we had left behind....our marriage certificate was down there, honeymoon pictures, lots of pictures which are priceless to me, and other seemingly worthless, but priceless items.

We spent the night again in Marblehead taking advantage of having Jon and Jennie all to ourselves for a little longer. (highlight #1) We had a great time of conversation and prayer. Saturday morning we were reunited with friends that we hadn't seen in many years. It was great to sit around and talk as though no time had passed between us. Friendships made in Christ really are quite amazing in that way.

Saturday was the real work day. We were able to load up the trailer, with the help of Keith Tyo (one of our renters) very quickly. I don't even know how long it took us but it seemed really quick.

Eliot did amazingly well! I couldn't believe it. We asked a lot of that little one this past weekend. She was such a trooper.

Saturday night was another highlight of the trip. We took Keith and Kate Tyo (our new missionary family/former renters) and Steve and Trish out to our favorite place in Inman Square: Spice and Rice!! This is the Thai/Japanese/Koren place, formerly known as Sweet Chili, we used to go to every Sunday after worship. We all became very fond of each other and they always treat us like royalty when ever we visit. The food was so yummy, as usual, and the conversation was fun! We had a great time.

(Highlight #2) After dinner we headed back to Steve and Trish's home for more conversation, wine, and prayer. Elle went to sleep in the pack 'n' play in their room. We had an awesome time of prayer and wonderful conversation.

The Ryan's (Steve and Trish) and the Putnam's (Jon and Jennie) have a very special place in our lives and hearts. These two couples hold a place of authority in our lives. They hear from the Lord on our behalf and have the ability to speak directly into our lives like few others. Trish and Jennie have this wonderful way of calling me out and loving me unconditionally - no judgment. I LOVE that! We had a great time.

(Highlight #3) Sunday morning we attended the 9:30 worship service at the Cambridge Vineyard. Dave spoke about living the "impossibly great life". Fantastic! It was great to be back there. It always thrills my soul to be among those brothers and sisters. Also, we got to introduce the Ryan's to the Putnam's! I think they will be great friends:)

We left immediately following the service. The ride back was tough. But we made it home safely so I can only be grateful!

I had originally said that the house selling was the closing of a chapter in our lives. I returned home not feeling that was true at all. It was time to say goodbye to that house, full of so many wonderful memories, but the chapter on New England is not closed yet. Being in New England confirmed to us that we are right where we are supposed to be in NoVa. We are thrilled to be where we are called to be, but also thankful to have such a deep connection elsewhere.

God is so good!! I'm incredibly thankful for His timing. Thank you for your prayers and concern for us regarding this home. We are so blessed!

Dry season

2008-07-26T23:47:00.003-04:00

I'm definitely going through a dry season with my blogging. I did just want to chime in quickly and let you know about my other birthday present.....:)

I finally got my nose pierced! I've been wanting to do it for years, but when Jenny came back from her mission trip with a cute little stud in her nose it pushed me over the edge. So for my 32nd birthday Jenny and I went into Fairfax to get my nose pierced.

It really hurt. I think I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that I have a low threshold for pain.... Anyway, I'm so glad I did it. I love it!

(picture to follow shortly)

side note: Dad is visiting us this week. Maybe that's one of the reasons for the dry spell. Things are going well enough, but it's a constant reminder of the brokenness in our family. Gavin, the girls, and I are going to be staying at his new house on the way down to Fla., and on the way back from Fla., in a few weeks. I'm not looking forward to seeing how his new life with ...*@#!$^)&....(I mean) Dorothy looks, but feel it is another step toward walking this road of forgiveness...

prayers for wisdom and humility are appreciated.
much love,
em

A Lovely Birthday

2008-07-19T23:15:00.002-04:00

I turned 32 this week....and I'm cool with that.:) Gavin always picks on me (and the other Brown girls) because I (we) have this very uncanny and subconscious way of stretching out my (our) birthday celebration(s). It looks like this year will be no different..... Thursday night Gavin took me to the Melting Pot for dinner...my favorite...and then to see the Indigo Girls in concert at Wolf Trap, which is an outdoor venue. We had such a great time.

I LOVE the Indigo Girls. Their concerts are always so much fun and laid back. Brandi Carlisle opened for them - she was great. Wolf Trap is such a fun venue. It is a partially outdoor, partially indoor arena. It feels very intimate. Dinner was yummy and being with Gavin, enjoying some of our favorite music, was a perfect way to spend the evening.

Friday, my actual birthday, we had a big camp out in the backyard. We had seven tents set up!!!! It wasn't supposed to be for my birthday - just happened to fall on that evening - but I may make it an annual event!! The house was full and buzzing with so many friends, great conversation, lots of laughs, children running around overjoyed to be staying up late and playing with old and new friends.....I LOVED every second of it.

Dad is coming into town on Tuesday for a visit and the celebration will continue.....see, I clearly didn't plan it that way....uncanny...;)!

I'm posting some recent pics, but haven't uploaded any from the camp-out yet. Thanks for all the sweet cards and birthday wishes!! I love you, my dear friends and family. My life is better because you are apart of it.
all my love and appreciation,
em

National Security

2008-07-16T00:31:00.002-04:00

Obama gave a speech yesterday about his strategy for National security. It was inspiring. The video and transcript of the speech are included in the link above. Because it was about 30min. long, I've decided to post a commercial regarding a small aspect of his National security vision instead.
This is one of the biggest differentiators between Obama and McCain. It's so important that we be educated on what exactly they each are proposing.

We've accepted an offer!!

2008-07-12T00:19:00.004-04:00

Praise the Lord! While we were in Cinci over the weekend we heard from our Realtor that an offer had come in for our Cambridge home. We did some expected negotiating and settled on a fair price. If all goes well the closing will be August 15th!

We are so thrilled and completely thankful for this new answer to prayer.

It comes at an interesting time: I was just telling friends this weekend that I had finally come to realize that there was no eternal value or loss in a foreclosure or bad credit...I finally was alright with whatever happened. "Who cares if the house forecloses!!!" Certainly these are things we should avoid if possible. But I had felt for the past three years that God wasn't providing for us because the house wouldn't sell or we didn't have the money to cover both rent and mortgage, etc. My mind, and my faith, was stuck within the "rules" and thinking of this world.

I had finally come to the realization that God does not have to work within these "rules". Credit and foreclosures mean NOTHING to Him. He does what He wants, when He wants, whether it works within our timing or not. This housing situation has truly been out of our hands. We have had to simply trust. We've done everything we could to make the house sell and yet, it was in His timing all along.

The Lord has allowed us to be apart of many ministries through our home. He used our home for a group to open a New England House of Prayer...how cool is that?! He used our home to provide housing to several couples in ministry and most recently a couple awaiting return to the mission field. God is so good!! I'm so happy to give Him all the praise and honor and glory for the sell of our home! Please be in prayer during this final process - that it will go smoothly.

We are thrilled that we will NOT be loosing the Cambridge house to foreclosure! Praise the Lord!!

Do Something!

2008-07-10T17:44:00.001-04:00

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DO justly, LOVE mercy

2008-07-08T11:42:00.003-04:00

I'm on a journey of forgiveness that began a few months ago when the Lord revealed to me that I needed to forgive the woman my dad has had an ongoing affair with for the past 10 years. I really didn't think I had a "forgiveness" problem!! I usually brush offenses off pretty quickly, and am quick to forgive when asked. The one thing that I knew I had a hard time forgiving was disloyalty. Being loyal is a very high characteristic on my list. But the Lord has revealed another layer: forgiving those that hurt the ones I love.

I've realized over the past few weeks that I am a LOVER of justice. I have always been a lover of justice, but never put words to that aspect of my character. I wear a big "J" on my chest for JUSTICE (as my friend, Meredith says). And I've always worn it proudly...until now. I'm very open about how much of a protector I am - whether it's friends, family, friend's children, my own children - I am like a mother bear if those I love are hurt. I'm fierce and ruthless.

We returned to Cinci for a wedding this past weekend (which was so precious, by the way), and I was forced to deal with some unfinished business. Usually when I am hurt by someone I quickly forgive and am still filled with love when I see them. But this time I did not have that reaction.

My reaction to seeing them really surprised me. As I rode in the car to the reception praying over my unforgiving heart it dawned on me! It wasn't an offense against me that I was so upset about....it was against Gavin...Gavin! I was still in protector mode.

Gavin had already forgiven what had happened. He had actively pursued reconciliation. So why was I still having such a hard time forgiving? I know forgiveness is about setting me free, not letting them off the hook. I know to forgive whether or not I am asked! I thought I had forgiven them. And yet...."repulsed" is clearly not a sign of a heart that has forgiven....

As I prayed over my unforgiving heart the Lord put Micah 6:8 on my lips. "What does the Lord REQUIRE of you? To DO justly, LOVE mercy, and walk humbly with your Lord". Whoa! I clearly saw that I had been a LOVER of justice, not mercy. I had loved justice at the sacrifice of mercy. I needed the Lord to have mercy on me and change my heart.

That's the new journey in forgiveness that I'm beginning: to be one that DOES justly, but LOVES mercy, and will walk humbly with my Lord. Your prayers are appreciated!

Excerpts from Tea Time

2008-06-29T15:55:00.003-04:00

I've talked before about our tea time on Sunday afternoons. Today we had some quiche Florentine, spa tea (raspberry zinger tea and apple cider) and sat outside together. We have all joined the tea times now; Nick, Jenny, myself, Gavin and all of the girls (and Marneaux while she's here visiting). After each person finishes their reading we all clap in approval. It's a very enjoyable way to spend an hour on Sunday afternoon.

We each read several excerpts, but I've chosen my favorites for this entry. Here are a few quotes from some of the readings today.

Gavin: "...Earth's crammed with heaven, And every common bush afire with God:
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes..." -Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Rae: "...God speaks in a whip-poor-will's song. 'I set the North star in the heavens and I mean for you to be free.' Harriet sees the stars twinkling. 'My mind is made up. Tomorrow, I flee....' -Carole Boston Weatherford, "Moses, When Harriet Tubman led Her People to Freedom"

Emily: "Let's have one day for girls and boyses when you can make the grandest noises. Screech, scream, holler, an yell - Buzz a buzzer, clang a bell...One day a year do all of these, The rest of the days - be quiet please." -Shell Silverstien, "Noise Day"

Jenny: "What is, therefore, our task today? ...we lack a holy rage - the recklessness which comes from the knowledge of God and humanity. The ability to rage when justice lies prostrate on the streets...to rage against the ravaging of God's earth, and the destruction of God's world. To rage when little children must die of hunger when the tables of the rich are sagging with food...to rage against complacency...and remember the signs of the Christian church have been the Lion, the Lamb, the Dove and the Fish...but never the chameleon. -Kaj Munk, Danish Pastor just before his death in 1944 by Gestapo.

Nick had a great excerpt from Donald Miller (but I don't have the book at my disposal right now), about an interview Miller saw. Larry King was interviewing Billy Graham just after the Columbine shootings. When asked what was coming of our world, Miller assumed he would reference the recent studies on how video games and violence on TV were desensitizing children to the sanctity of life and humankind. Instead Rev. Graham began to speak, very eloquently, about how a long time ago there was a woman and a man in a garden, and they ate from a tree...."and I knew in my heart he was right" -Donald Miller, "In Search of God Knows What"

We ended the tea with one last reading from Raegan: "I wish...I wish I had feathers. I wish I had wings. I wish I was covered with prickly things....What? You say I'm the only kid you see, who acts quite like, talks quite like, is quite like me? You mean I don't need a horn, stripes or tail? NO googlie eyes or a spout like a whale? I guess you are right! I just have to be- TO BE - the one, the only, MAGNIFICENT ME! -Dan Haseltine, "The One, The Only Magnificent Me!"

I hope you are enjoying your family today!
much love to you all, dear friends.

From the Inside Out

2008-06-21T07:57:00.002-04:00

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades. Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame. And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise, from the inside out, Lord my soul cries out.

My heart and my soul, I give you control. Consume me from the inside out, Lord.

--------------------------

The way I have always shown my thankfulness to the Lord and given Him praise, is through music. This song from Hillsong United, along with some other Jason Upton songs, speak my heart. I understand why Gavin loves the prayers of the saints. They are prayers of his heart. Songs like this are the same for me.

Augustine said, when you sing, you pray twice. I love that!

("The Shack" has given me such a sweet perspective and love for the Trinity. Sarayu; the wind; light; equally God; Holy Spirit - what a precious friend. Jesus; fully man; fully God; funny; lovely - what a precious Savior. Papa; protector; You love me; humble; gentle; mighty - what an amazing God!)

God is Good!

2008-06-20T11:58:00.006-04:00

Praise the Lord!! God is so good!!

All glory and praise belongs to the Lord! He has allowed us to find favor in the eyes of those "in control" of this situation. We have been assured that all has been resolved positively [due to the sensitivity of this matter I can't talk about any details].

This means that we will most likely be able to keep our Cambridge home! We are lowering the price again in hopes that it will sell soon.

These are the times when I feel my praise is so inadequate. "Praise the Lord" just doesn't seem to cut it... Do you ever feel like that? I would love a more tangible/passionate way to express my thankful heart and praise. What do you do to express your thankfulness to God?

To all my prayer warriors...you bless me more than you will ever know. Thank you for your prayers and thoughts and well wishes. My heart truly is overflowing!

Yes, We Can!

2008-06-17T07:59:00.002-04:00

I realize this is belated, but it goes without saying that we are thrilled to have Barack Obama as the Democratic nominee!

Yes, we can. Yes, we can. Yes, we can. ...to God be the glory!!

My Cup Runneth Over

2008-06-16T07:56:00.009-04:00

Sorry for the King James wording.....it just seems appropriate for my current state. I've just been reading my friend's blogs and am so encouraged. Whether it's celebrating healthy and happy marriages, sharing God's blessing over different ministries, sharing menus for the week, or sharing time with children...I'm reminded of how blessed we are, and how blessed I am for these friendships.

Gavin and I had a challenging week this past week. [because of the sensitivity of the matter I can't talk about the details.] We took a huge hit. I've talked before about needing our home in Cambridge to sell because we really can't afford to keep it. We were hoping for the bonus to get us current on our mortgage, among other things.

Because I am a lover of justice, this is hard to swallow. We have a great Realtor in Cambridge and we're getting a lot of traffic, but no offer yet. We are having to come to grips with the fact that we may loose that home to foreclosure.

In light of all that, I can honestly say that Gavin and I are completely at peace. Not only are we still joyful, but we're actually happy. Don't get me wrong...we're NOT happy about the possibility of losing our home. We are happy to be right in the palm of our Lord's hand. We truly believe that He is good and has good things for us. He has provided for us over and over and over again. He is faithful. So what if we loose our home in Cambridge?! For the first time in five years, I can actually say that without cringing. I know the Lord has plans to prosper us and not to harm us - He has lovingly and graciously proven Himself, though He didn't have to.

Confession: The Lord has brought me a LONG way as I re-read what I just wrote. The old Emily (not so long ago) would have been angry about this injustice, not just at Imperial but also at God for allowing these injustices. Though it is shameful to admit, I confess that for those who may also struggle with feeling anger toward God over injustice.

Though the Lord has used many things to gently change my heart, (including a sermon from Pastor Dave, Cambridge Vineyard, New Years sermon 2004 - that totally rocked my world - challenging us to truly "give thanks in EVERY circumstance") the most recent reinforcement has been from "The Shack":

God speaking:
"The real underlying flaw in your life, [Emily], is that you don't think that I am good. If you knew I was good and that everything - the end, the means and all the processes of individual lives - is all covered by my goodness, then while you might not always understand what I am doing, you would trust me. But you don't."

Lord, I know that you are good! I trust you. You are worthy of all praise, glory and honor, and you are certainly worthy of my trust - especially when I don't understand your ways. Have mercy on me. Thank you for your love, grace and peace that passes all understanding. Thank you for this season of special dependence on you! Please sell our home in Cambridge.

My cup overflows! Blessed be your name, O Lord!

Peace and Rest cont.

2008-06-09T20:53:00.002-04:00

That was just a weird night, the other night. Thankfully the peace and rest has been restored in our home. Thank you for all your sweet prayers!!

On a side note: I've finished "The Shack" and it is the most challenging and thought-provoking thing I have ever read. It also, however, challenged my trust in God which stirred up some fear issues - which I think had something to do with the other night...

I'll write more later about this. I'm still working through all that the book stirred up in me. One word of caution: don't buy into the controversial hype. Yes, God appears to the main character, Mack, as a woman - which raises justified red flags. However, it is quickly explained that God is neither male nor female. Mack has major father issues and therefore God the Father, called Papa in the book, appeals to him from a more gentle perspective. Papa also explains to Mack that after the fall they (the Trinity) knew that the Father figure would be the one most needed by their children which is why He is referred to as "the Father" throughout scripture. And, fyi Papa does appear to Mack as a father later on in the book.

There are so many amazing things about this book - don't miss out on it!

A few of the things I'm dealing with because of "The Shack": forgiving others, understanding all I've been forgiven, trusting God through life and death, the power of mutual submission, and feeling a new sense of intimacy with God - the Trinity.

much love, dear friends!

Peace and Rest

2008-06-06T14:33:00.003-04:00

I've been thinking about this blog for several days. There are several reasons to write about this topic, for me, and last night added one more.

First I began thinking about this because all of my friends here in NoVa describe me as laid back and easy going. I'm pretty sure that's a first!!! I've always been known to be a bit edgy, somewhat confrontational - loving, loyal, and very considerate to my friends - but always quick to throw myself into a movement I believe in, and definitely willing to cause ripples. I really don't think ANYONE in my past would describe me as laid back and easy going.

When I first began hearing this description of me I was shocked...but mostly flattered! I am still very much the "Emily" I described above, but I realized that I really LOVE being known as a person of peace....though I'm still not sure how accurate a description it is.

Either my friends have a skewed perspective on easy-going and laid back, or the Lord is actually changing me to have a more peaceful approach to life, despite my activist tendencies!! I really hope it is the latter.

Secondly, the words "peace and rest" have been on my lips a lot over the past few years. These are the words I pray over Eliot as I lay her in her crib at night, and Raegan and Reece as I tuck them in: That the Lord would bless them with a peaceful, restful sleep.

Whenever we have company, these are the words I pray for them while they are in our home: That their hearts would be filled with peace and rest.

I've come to relish my meditation play list because of the peace and rest I feel when I listen to it. (Don't think I don't still have hip-hop and all kind of crazy stuff playing, too.....I don't see that ever changing. I still like to get my groove on...you know....:))

Thirdly, I think this may be a ministry the Lord is giving our family - to be a place of peace and rest for those who need it. ...we'll see.

Lastly, I am greatly disturbed when that peace and rest is interrupted or disturbed as it was last night. Eliot had a really awful night last night. Something was scaring her so terribly that she ended up crawling out/falling out of her crib. This was after hours of praying through her room, trying to work with her through the fear, moving the night light to a different part of the room, trying to have her sleep with us (she has never slept with us...not because we didn't want her to she has just never wanted to, much to Gavin's great disappointment - last night was no different). I bound the spirit of fear and cast it out of our house over and over, asking the Holy Spirit to replace it with peace and rest and lots of love. Finally, around 4am I was able to rock her to sleep (a first) and lay her down in her bed. I stayed for a little while to be sure she would remain asleep. ....it was a weird and painful night. I would appreciate any prayer for wisdom and insight - eyes to see what was scaring her so much, and prayer for peace, rest and comfort over little Elle.

I pray peace and rest over you, dear friends.
much love,
em

Much Better Day Today

2008-05-31T21:01:00.002-04:00

Well, Praise the Lord, and thank you for your prayers...we had a lovely day today!

Soren is as good as new. We're still going to take him to the vet this next week, for good measure.

The guys took the Odyssey into Honda and got a new tire, then drove to Exxon to have it put on since the wait at the dealership was four hours. (It's a special tire that we had to buy from the dealership....) They were able to get it done relatively quickly and inexpensively!!:)

The girls and I had a successful and fun morning cleaning the house to prepare for Sabbath and company.

We had a photographer from Cooksey Keepsakes come to the house today around 12:00 to take family pictures. We also had five other families come over to have their pictures taken. It was so much fun! I did this about a month ago at my friend Meredith's house. I just had pictures of the girls. They were so fantastic that I decided to host a "party" and have pictures of our family taken. It's a great, laid back environment, and kids do so much better in a home than a studio.

The pictures I got of the girls a month ago were the best pictures I've ever gotten of them. I am so pleased. I'm excited to see the results of the family pics. Plus, having my friends over to get pictures of their children was so much fun. The mom's and I hung out in the kitchen eating some munchies, while the photographer worked her magic.

In two weeks we'll all get back together, without children, sip some wine, and look over the proofs together. It's really fun! This is a growing company so, if you're interested, you should google them for the Cooksey Keepsake photographer near you:)

The last of our company left by around 4:30, and I snuck upstairs while Gavin had the girls, for a little down time. I put on my Rachel Portman playlist on repeat and read a little out of the book I'm into right now: The Shack. (It's so good and thought-provoking. I'm sure I'll have a whole blog about it once I'm finished.)

I was ready to rejoin my wonderful family after a few minutes of solitude.

Opening Sabbath was wonderful, as usual. Nick made his super-yummy-sweet-Marsala Chicken, roasted garlic mashed potatoes, from scratch, caramelized carrots and made-from-scratch Key Lime Pie!!! YUM!

What a blessed day!

Crazy night....going straight to bed

2008-05-30T22:40:00.002-04:00

Our evening started out lovely. Gavin and I were having a little date with Reece. We ate dinner at IHOP, which is always fun. Then we headed over to the "Perils of the Jungle" put-put. Reece has never played put-put before....it was very funny.

We had a great time and lots of laughs. Reece is a bundle of joy.

....then we came home....

Pulling into the garage we noticed Raegan's bike was sticking out a little bit. I also saw that Soren's lead was wrapped around the bike. I thought I had enough room to get by, but I didn't. The right tire ran over the edge of the bike and blew the tire out immediately. I started to back up (unaware of the blown tire) and trapped Soren's leg under the back tire. He began crying out for help immediately. I didn't know where he was so Gavin jumped out and was able to tell me to pull forward slightly.

Soren was limping a little, but after much love and attention he is back to his playful self and LOVING all the attention. We're going to keep a close eye on him over the next few weeks. Praise the Lord, he isn't even limping anymore (only 30min. after the mishap).

Several other "unfortunate events" happened within the next hour, but none really worth mentioning. Any prayers for Soren would be appreciated.

We've all decided that we're heading straight to bed right now to end this as soon as we possibly can.......after some time of prayer for protection over our home and each member of our family, including our little man, Soren.

Tea Party

2008-05-21T20:54:00.004-04:00

Yesterday Raegan invited her daddy and sisters to a tea party. I helped her get everything ready. She wanted chamomile tea and some kind of treat. It was her idea to have cinnamon graham crackers and some strawberries.

Gavin was very happy to participate in the tea time. He read a few passages from W.B. Yeats. The girls were attentive.

Some of the pictures are outside, where the tea party began. When it started to rain they moved the party indoors.

I love these times! The girls adore their daddy. It is a precious gift to be a daddy's girl, and to have a daddy that adores you right back!

Wow!

2008-05-20T09:55:00.000-04:00

A Few Pictures

2008-05-15T16:19:00.003-04:00

I ended up not getting very good pictures of Jenny's homecoming, which is such a bummer. But here are the few that turned out alright. Background: Jenny thought that just mom was meeting her at the airport. Instead there were about 20 of us waiting at the bottom of the escalator! Needless to say, she was very surprised!

The last picture I just HAD to throw in there, because it is of me standing next to Trish's book, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not", at the local Barnes and Noble!! Though the picture is not a flattering one of me I still had to add it! I'm so proud of Trish and all the work she's put into this great memoir. I also couldn't help myself as I grabbed a copy off the shelves and put it on one of the front tables, up by the door....I have NO self control...I know this. Feel free to pray for me.:)

Abide in Me

2008-05-13T09:49:00.003-04:00

These are words that I have recently felt spoken deep in my spirit. "Abide in Me". At a moment when I was calling out for understanding, these are the words He spoke to me. And as I think, wonder, pray over what those words mean to me right now, in this present season, a new chapter of faith is unfolding before me.

My times of prayer have, in great measure, been spent asking "what does that look like right now?". Certainly this phrase is not a new concept to me. However, as each new season, trial, etc. presents itself the meaning of that phrase is not so easy to define. Sure, I could offer up the definition of Abide:

"continue, remain, survive, last, persist, stay, live on; obey, observe, follow, keep to, hold to, conform to, adhere to, stick to, stand by, act in accordance with, uphold, heed, accept, go along with, acknowledge, respect, defer to"

...but those are just words. I love them - lots of great words there, but what do they mean to me, living out this life of faith, day to day? This is where the beauty of the living, Holy Triune - three in One, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit speak into my life; speak to my spirit. This moment of questioning is where I surrender my understanding of these words "Abide in Me".

I come before my Holy, Holy, Holy God and ask for wisdom and insight. ...and He meets me there.

Brilliant!

Suddenly my eyes are opened and I see wounds that have not been forgiven - never even dawned on me there was a need to forgive this person. This woman who the enemy has used, and my dad allowed, to tear our family apart by having an ongoing affair with him for the last 10 years - I'm supposed to stop hating her (I've HATED her for 10 years) - even more, I'm supposed to forgive her.... I can't believe I was so blinded by my hatred that I couldn't see this no-brainer!! I thought forgiving my dad was enough, and am still walking down that road with minor set backs from time to time.

And yet, here I am again....."what does that mean, Lord?", "forgive her?!", "what does that look like?".

"Abide in Me"

I trust You, Lord. Forgive me. Change me.

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-11T15:26:00.004-04:00

This is a little over the top, but it makes me smile thinking more about my mom than any experiences I've actually had as a mother yet. Enjoy:)

Happy Mother's day!

Great Friends

2008-05-09T00:01:00.003-04:00

Our dear friends, Trish and Steve, came down this past week for a few days, on business. I've mentioned before that Trish is a recently published author. Her book, He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, is a funny, revealing, honest, inspiring (among other adjectives) memoir of her journey through faith and love. It's hilarious! I LOVE it! GO PICK UP A COPY AT YOUR LOCAL BARNES AND NOBLE OR BORDERS!!!! SERIOUSLY, you will NOT be disapointed!!!

She is currently on a book tour, and D.C./NoVa was one of her stops. We were honored to spend any available time they had, with them:) We met this couple when we lived in Cambridge four years ago. We were attending the Cambridge Vineyard and were looking to get involved in a small group. There were only two that we were interested in because they were specifically for married couples and we knew that was what we needed. After a series of events we ended up at a prayer/worship meeting of one of them. Steve and Trish were one of the couples we met that night.

The evening was a powerful one, as they usually are when "Vineyardites" are involved! Trish had a vision for me (the first of many throughout the years) that ushered me into a season of healing some deep hurts. The Lord has given Steve and Trish a ministry for Gavin and myself like no other, since that night. We have been connected ever since!

I always feel so loved when they are with us, and accepted. Steve is a Truth-speaker, and functions in that gift well!! He doesn't get Gavin's "theology talk" but loves him and humors him anyway.:) That's real love! He has a simple, yet profound way of understanding how to walk in faith and persevere on this journey we're on. He calls out men of God to be better than they are.

We LOVE this couple, and we're thankful for their friendship.

Gavin and I were just discussing today how incredibly blessed we are to have such amazing friends in each of you. The Lord has continued to blow us away with the friendships He consistently brings us. We are a better couple because of you all, you know who you are. Thank you for your love and friendship. ...from our friends from college who have loved us through the good and the bad, to our recent friends that choose to walk along beside us on this journey of faith.

Our cup overflows...

(By the way, so cool! I went to my first ever book reading/signing to hear my new favorite author, Trish Ryan, read several excerpts from her book "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" and it was so much fun!!! She's so cool and down to earth! You would never have believed she was this accomplished new author! She signed my copy of her book.....it was SO cool. If you haven't already, you should pick up one of her books! It's a great read!....just in case I haven't already said that...)

Jenny's Back!!

2008-05-07T00:58:00.003-04:00

Yay!! Jenny is back and is finally home! (I'll post pictures soon)

We drove down last week to surprise Jenny at the airport. It was SO hard for me to try to viably convince Jenny that we wouldn't be coming down to see her until Friday, in time for the party on Saturday. I really don't know how I was able to do it. (This proves that I completely missed my calling as a multi-million dollar actor...I'm just sayin'.)

The party on Saturday was great fun. Mom and I had the idea to have a party that would represent all the different holidays that Jenny missed, with food of the season and decorations, etc. So we had a Christmas section with a Christmas tree and wreaths; a Thanksgiving section with turkeys and harvest baskets; the New Year's table was the drink table; we had a Valentine's table with chocolates and lasagna; the birthday table had a birthday cake with her face on it....funny:) and noise makers, etc.; there was a 4th of July table and a Halloween table. We had a great time - lots of fun.

We all arrived back here around 1am Sunday night - technically Monday morning. Life is slowly getting back to normal for Jen. She is adjusting beautifully! She lost so much weight on the trip that we took five bags of clothes she could no longer wear to Goodwill today!! Isn't that great?! She's determined to continue progressing to a healthy size, so please keep her in your prayers.

We're SO happy to have our dear "aunt Jenny" home!! She has easily become more than a sister and more like a friend, and I am thrilled to have her back in hugging distance. She has learned so much throughout this year abroad. I am gleaning as much as I can.

We're all praying for direction and clarity as this new season is approaching. Our house in Cambridge is on the market for the fifth time. Though our new Realtor is really great and is bringing a lot of traffic through, nothing is moving as of today. If it doesn't sell then we really don't have much of a choice but to move back there. We LOVE Boston. We LOVE NC. We really like it a lot here. But that really has nothing to do with it. We just want to be where God wants us to be - His best! So please join us in praying for clarity. I'm praying that He will close any doors that would be a distraction, and swing wide open the door that holds His blessing. I'm at the point where I'm finally neutral about location. I just want to be right in the center of His will for our family, whether that means staying here, moving back to Cambridge or moving to NC, or anywhere else, for that matter. I want His best! I want to be obedient and am ready to serve more actively.

This time in D.C./Northern Virginia has been an amazing time of rest. What an unexpected and needed blessing!! I'm so thankful that the Lord knows what we need so much more than we do. He is so good. I can only choose to bless His name! He gives and takes away but my heart will choose to say, Lord, Blessed be Your name!

much love dear friends,
em

Update

2008-04-29T14:30:00.002-04:00

Hi Everyone!

I've been keeping up with all my friend's blogs but have just not felt like blogging these past few weeks. Do you ever get like that? I get on....check to see if I have any new comments (always very exciting when there is one!)...and then the moment to write a new entry just...passes....right...by, to my delight at times.

We've been very busy. Two weekends ago we had several friends (21, including children) over for a full Seder meal and to dedicate Elle to the Lord. Mom surprised us by coming up and bringing my nieces, Macy and Abbi. It was a great time! Elle did amazingly well. John Hazlett, Nick and Mike Blake had special parts in the dedication, and our dear friend, Father Sam (Sammy), led the dedication. (Isn't that so cool!! Father Sam!!)

The dedication was so special. Gavin incorporated a prayer that I pray for the girls every morning, and other specific children in our lives, into the liturgy: that their hearts would long for and seek after His heart; their minds would long for and seek after His mind; and their spirits would long for and seek after His Spirit. Elle very sweetly took the salt of wisdom...and wanted more (that's a good sign, right?!:)) from Nick, the kiss of justice and compassion from Mike, and the oil of God's love from John.

This past weekend we had my dear cousin, Jason, his wife, Janet, and their two little ones, Anna and Ben with us for the weekend. We so enjoyed having them with us. Gavin and Jason are kindred spirits and I love Janet. It's a wonderful blessing being friends with my cousins in adulthood! We had a sweet time of hanging out, laughing a lot, enjoying the children playing together, Mojito's, wine, great food. We love slumber parties!!:) It's fun being able to put the kids down and stay up a few more hours hanging out.

We're off to NC this weekend to welcome Jenny home from her 11-month trip abroad!! I can't believe it's already been a year! We're SO excited to have Jenny back home with us! Yay!! We're throwing a big welcome home party for her on Saturday then bringing her back home with us on Sunday. I'll be sure to post some pics of her homecoming.

Lastly, I'm SO excited to tell you that my dear friend, Trish's book is out in store's tomorrow: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not. I got my copy last week (advance order) and couldn't put it down. It's a great story about her journey and mishaps through love and faith. Whether you're single or married, you'll love this book. She's an amazing woman of faith, blessed with a husband that is equally amazing! Gavin and I love this couple and have been challenged and blessed by them for several years. It's funny, witty, insightful and a pure joy to read. I highly recommend this book for you and any girlfriends you know.

all my love, dear friends. I appreciate your friendship more than you know.

Dr. Soren Alexander

2008-04-17T15:45:00.002-04:00

Introducing the newest member of the Long family! Here are some pictures from his fourth week of life, to his first days home, to time with Elle today.

He is a very sweet boy. We're having to work on the training...as with all puppies. The puppy stage is SUPER cute, but not super fun. I just walked around the front yard picking up all the poop (with a bag) and throwing it into the woods. I'm trying to train him to use the potty in the wooded area, not where we like to have picnics...:)

Right now he is an inside and outside dog. We have a little bed for him in the mudroom and a dog house outside...which he has yet to step paw in. He loves being outside but is getting more and more comfortable with being inside.

He loves the girls and they really love him, too. Eliot even cries for him whenever he goes out of her sight. Today he went with us to take Reece to dance, so on the way home he sat in her booster seat, right beside Elle. She kept wining randomly. I finally watched her in the rear view mirror and she would wimper anytime her hand was NOT in his mouth. She was fine as long as her hand was in his mouth, but the moment he turned his head she was not happy.

funny! I have always been a huge animal lover. There is a picture of me, around Elle's age, with my blanket (slept with it every night, walked around with it all day, kind of blanket) draped over our Golden Retriever at the time, Boone.

I'm very thankful for this little man! Though it may have been a little early to add another "toddler" to the mix, we're very thankful to have him.

Funny Conversation

2008-04-17T09:29:00.004-04:00

The Pope visited D.C. yesterday. There was a big parade downtown which I believe 46,000 people attended....I just heard that from Nick. Anyway, this a hilarious conversation our friend, Renee, had with her two children as they prepared to go. Ellie is 5, Patrick is 3,and Flannery, our god-daughter, is two months old TODAY - but she didn't have much to say about the excursion, understandably:)

"My kids' perspective on the Pope's visit to DC 4/16/08

Me: Get your coats.
Ellie (5): Where are we going?
Me: We're going to the Pope's parade.
Patrick (3): The Poke?
Me: The Pope.
Patrick: The Pote.
Me: The Pope, with a P.
Ellie: The Pope has to pee!

giggles

Ellie: Mom
Me: Yes.
Ellie: Who is the Pope?
Me: He's the head of the Roman Catholic Church.

Silence

Ellie: He doesn't have a body?
Me: Of course he does honey.
Patrick: I'm going to catch some candy!
Me: It's not that type of parade, Buddy. The Pope doesn't throw candy.
Patrick: Because he doesn't have any arms?
Me: He has arms.
Ellie: Why are we going to see the Poke?
Me: Because the Pope is a very holy man.
Patrick: Oh, I'm a holy man!

Silence

Me: It'll be fun. The Pope rides in a funny car called the popemobile.
Patrick: The poopmobile!

more giggles

Me: The popemobile has an open seat in the back so we can see the Pope when he passes by.
Patrick: Mom?
Me: Yes
Patrick: The Pote has to ride in a car seat?
Me: Sort of. It's surrounded by a special glass that protects him.
Ellie: That's why he doesn't throw candy, Patrick. Because it would hit the glass!

You can't make this stuff up.
Renee"

Isn't that just awesome!! Here is the link for Sammy's blog, where he has a picture of the popemobile passing by.

More Soccer!

2008-04-14T14:10:00.003-04:00

Reece had her first practice last week. I'm just now getting up pictures because it's been a crazy week. Gavin and Nick were gone all week, in LA, and we added a new family member: Dr. Soren Alexander! That's right! It's a boy!!! ....a boy puppy, that is:)

Reece did great at her practice. She loved going after the ball. They are not playing games, but learning how to play the game instead. It's great fun! We take our blanket and some snacks and hang out in the beautiful outdoors for an hour or so. Raegan and Reece both have practice on Monday's, so we'll be out for a few hours today - which will be great fun.

I'll post pics of Soren Alex soon. (Soren is from Soren Keirkegard - Gavin and I always wanted a golden by this name. Alexander is from Reece because he was her birthday present....Gavin added the Dr. part, of course!!:))

Soccer!

2008-04-07T09:23:00.002-04:00

Raegan and Reece are playing soccer this spring. Neither of them have ever played before. We toss the ball around in the backyard, but Gavin nor I even know the rules, really - other than get the ball in the other guy's goal, don't touch the ball with your hands, stay in between the white lines....that's pretty much the extent of our soccer knowledge. (unlike our best friend's in NC - Scott's pretty much a superstar, and their beautiful children soon will be, as well!!:))

So, our first game was Saturday, also the first time Raegan would be on the field! (the first practice was rained out on Monday). I wasn't sure how she would handle it. We talked about it a lot in the days leading up to Saturday, and talked more on our way to the field. "This is just a time to have fun and kick the ball around. It doesn't matter who wins, or that you don't really know the rules, yet. Just get out there and have lots of fun!!" ...I hoped it would work.

You can see in the pictures she was a little shy at first (fingers in her mouth), but then shook it off, got out there and did a GREAT job! It was so much fun, all being there together, cheering her on. Yay! Raegan!

Reece starts today. She has practice on Monday's and Wednesday's - no games, just fun learning of the game of soccer. I'm so happy to be doing this and sharing it all together as a family. Our next few months of Saturday's are going to be occupied at soccer games (only one hour long), and I can't think of a better way to spend part of our weekend!

The Anti-Christ?!!

2008-04-06T21:41:00.006-04:00

1 John 2:18
18 Dear children, the last hour is here. You have heard that the Antichrist is coming, and already many such antichrists have appeared. From this we know that the last hour has come. 19 These people left our churches, but they never really belonged with us; otherwise they would have stayed with us. When they left, it proved that they did not belong with us.

20 But you are not like that, for the Holy One has given you his Spirit, and all of you know the truth. 21 So I am writing to you not because you don’t know the truth but because you know the difference between truth and lies. 22 And who is a liar? Anyone who says that Jesus is not the Christ. Anyone who denies the Father and the Son is an antichrist. 23 Anyone who denies the Son doesn’t have the Father, either. But anyone who confesses the Son has the Father also.

--------------------------------------
So the latest trash that is being circulated over the internet suggests that Obama could be the anti-Christ. .....okay, people! Because the identity of the anti-Christ is still a mystery to us, it is an easy target to stir up fear among evangelicals. Fear mongering is the opposite of what the Gospel does. Don't get me wrong. It's not that I think we shouldn't be asking these questions? I think there is always room, and it is healthy and necessary, to question! Sadly, many are not even stopping to question when they get these pieces of trash in their inbox. We MUST be educated. We must check facts; check sources; check policies. Don't take anything at face value!

I'll be brief....because I can be.

"Whoever acknowledges the Son has the Father also". NIV says "Who is the liar", referring to the anti-Christ, "It is the man who denies that Jesus is the Christ."
Barack Obama has spoken openly and often about the moment he gave his life over to Jesus, asking him to be his Lord and Savior. He has "confessed the Son" and therefore, "has the Father also" - making it impossible for him to be the anti-Christ.

Here is a link to one of the many times he has professed Jesus as his Savior and Lord. (a primary source)

Also, again, the link for the Ekklesia article, an evangelical Christian think-tank out of Cambridge, England, which also speaks to the validity of his Christian faith. (a secondary source)

Lastly, here is a link to CNN Election center which highlights each candidates proposals on various issues. It also gives you excerpts of speeches from the candidates speaking about each issue.

Here's to being educated voters!!!!
much love,
em

Obama: Muslim or Christian?

2008-04-03T18:23:00.004-04:00

Throughout this campaign much has been done to try to slander Barack Obama, including accusing him of really being a Muslim instead of a Christian, as he has said in many occasions. Though the Rev. Wright controversy kind of put his "choice of faith" to rest (proving he was actively involved in a Christian church for 20+ years), I was still really encouraged by the following article. I know this "Muslim vs. Christian" issue will most likely come up again in the general election - especially from shady news organizations like Fox news.

Ekklesia is a Christian think-tank out Cambridge, England (interesting that they are writing about Obama in England). This is an excerpt of a recent article they published. You can go here to check out the full article.

"...Obama is also clear about the practical difference that his faith makes. “I believe in the example that Jesus set by feeding the hungry and healing the sick and always prioritizing the least of these over the powerful….Accepting Jesus Christ in my life has been a powerful guide for my conduct and my values and my ideals.”

Whether or not we would agree with all the conclusions Obama reaches as he applies his faith to his life, it seems certain that the man has an authentic relationship with Jesus. Of course, we could be cynical about all this, thinking that his protestations of faith are merely to win over the electorate. However, the Rev Jim Wallis, a leading US evangelical, writes “I have known Barack Obama for more than 10 years, and we have been talking about his Christian faith for a decade.”

Whatever we think of him as a possible future President, we should always stand against lies that are spread about any candidate. So, despite the reports, Obama is not a Muslim. He is a follower of Jesus, and one that makes clear that faith must make a difference to life. Amen to that!"

Organizing Fellowship

2008-04-03T17:54:00.002-04:00

Emily --

I want to tell you about one of the most exciting projects of this campaign. It's called the Obama Organizing Fellowship.

When I was a young man, I was inspired by the Civil Rights Movement and the idea of people working at a grassroots level to bring about change.

I got my chance on the South Side of Chicago, as a community organizer, and it was the transformative experience of my career.

It allowed me to put my values to work and to see that real change comes not from the top-down, but from the bottom-up, when ordinary people come together around a common purpose.

The experience changed the course of my life -- and I want to share that kind of opportunity with you.

That's why we're introducing a program that's going to train a new generation of leaders -- not only to help us win this election, but to help strengthen our democracy in communities across the country.

If you apply and are selected, you'll be trained in the basic organizing principles that this campaign and our movement for change are built on. You will be assigned to a community where you'll organize supporters. Assignments will begin in June, and you'll be required to work a minimum of six weeks over the summer.

This program is designed to give you real world organizing experience that will have a concrete impact on this election.

Apply to be an Obama Organizing Fellow and put progressive values to work in the real world:

http://my.barackobama.com/fellows

If you can't take the time away from work or your family that's required for the fellowship program, you can still get involved.

*Reach out to someone you know who may be interested in this program, and let them know we could use their help:
http://my.barackobama.com/fellowsinvite

*House an Organizing Fellow -- If you have a spare room, you can help by offering housing to an Organizing Fellow near their training or near their eventual assignment. We haven't set locations for all of the trainings and assignments, but if you sign up, our staff will be in touch as the campaign grows:
http://my.barackobama.com/fellowshousing

*Support this program by making a donation to this campaign:
https://donate.barackobama.com/fellowsdonate

Being a community organizer wasn't easy, but it was the most valuable education I ever received. It taught me that together, ordinary people can do extraordinary things.

Organizing changed my life, and I hope it changes yours.

Thanks,

Barack Obama
-----------------
We've signed up to offer housing to any fellows that need it. I thought many of you might like the opportunity to help out, also.

This is the kind of leadership I look forward to when Obama becomes President. It's completely different than what we've always known and it is causing real action and real results, from real people....the fruit of these efforts remains to be seen, but I'm looking forward to seeing it!!:)

Easter!

2008-04-02T10:43:00.003-04:00

We had a wonderful Easter! I hope you all did. Easter is my favorite holiday, next to Christmas. It's such a powerful time in history and for our faith. This year was especially wonderful. We had all the usual things: decorating Easter eggs, Easter egg hunts, a little bit of chocolate, new Easter dresses, etc. But this year we had an extra special blessing of becoming God-parents to our sweet Flannery Agnus Wood!

I loved going to mass (Episcopal) on the Saturday night before Easter . We started outside in the dark, representing the darkness of the tomb and of the womb. Once the Paschal candle was lit, everyone passed the light to each other before entering the sanctuary. The entire first half of the mass is in darkness only lit by the candles you're holding in your hands. During this time, among other things, we are led to renew our baptism (which is so cool, by the way!) This is also the time when new baptisms take place.

We had the great honor of standing next to Renee as Sammy baptized his daughter, Flannery, for his first baptism! (He was ordained as a priest in the Anglican church this past December) He was filled with emotion, as were we all, as he poured the water over her sweet little head. It was such a blessing, and honor, to be apart of this sacred ceremony.

(I'm leaving out a lot of really good stuff - this is just the reader's digest version:))

The second half (which looks like a normal mass) begins with a jolting, loud, and ominous sound from the organ - signifying the resurrection!! The lights come up and celebration begins! (this is where I think the charismatic choir should enter from the back, with tambourines and dancing in the isles, making their way up to the front and lead us all in a big sing along, celebrating and worshiping our risen Lord!!....but that's just me:))

It was so incredibly meaningful! I really enjoyed it! I hope we'll be able to do this every Easter.

By the way, Easter Saturday is the ONLY Saturday that we don't celebrate Sabbath - there is no rest, but sorrow and mourning. On Sunday, however, we celebrate Jesus as the Great Victor who conquered death! We make it a really big celebration!!! It's lots of fun! This is usually when we do our Seder meal, but because Easter is so much earlier this year (a month between Easter and Passover...?) we're going to have our Seder meal on Passover weekend. So we kind of get two Easters this year:)

He is risen! He is risen, indeed! He is risen! Hallelujah!!

Eliot turned 1!

2008-03-25T22:30:00.004-04:00

Eliot Katherine turned one on March 7th. We had a great time celebrating this little one.

Words that describe Eliot:

Feisty
Compassionate
Strong
Mischievous
Fearless
Determined
Precious
Great smile
Smarty Pants!!
Intuitive
Musical
Animated
Un-intimidated
"Elle's bells" (coined by her aunt Jenny)

.....and completely charming!

Eliot's personality has continued to amaze Gavin and me, with each new milestone. She is signing regularly; she loves to write...doodle, really; she loves music and dances every time she hears a beat; she tries to strum on the guitar; she love to "read" and be read to; she loves dancing with her daddy and me; she adores her sisters; she prefers to eat off of a plate and hold a fork; she babbles ALL the time and says things that resemble "I want that", "Thank you", while pointing to an object and then pointing to herself...She truly amazes us.

Elle is a great combination of Raegan and Reece. She has the curiosity and intelligence of Raegan, but the compassion and intuitiveness of Reece. She's very perceptive and can figure out something that puzzles her, like Reece, but understands the "rules" of her environment, like Rae.

I know I'm just a mom gushing over her child, but really, I have babysat and known a lot of children throughout my years and I have NEVER known a baby like this one. She is so tenacious and really sweet at the same time. She really does amaze and bless us so greatly. She brings us lots of laughter. She loves her sisters and always seeks to comfort them when they're upset; she also looks for any opportunity to pull their hair or take their baby....we've got our work cut out for us on this one.

Gavin says we've switched roles in the discipline arena. He accuses me of being a softy with her. I always promised myself that I wouldn't have the typical, spoiled last child (no offense to you last born's out there:)), but she is testing me on that... I feel like I'm still being pretty consistent with Elle, but I must admit that she has charmed me... Have no fear!! I know that loving and healthy parenting offers a balance between affection and discipline. I'm having no problem with the affection part, and will continue to try my best to be the disciplinarian she needs me to be.

...............pray for me:)

Response to Kim:)

2008-03-19T20:18:00.004-04:00

Kim, I don't think it's at all silly to wonder about such things. In fact, I appreciate your care. I'm always glad for your comments and input.

As you said, Obama has been working, writing and speaking to bring about One America and a United America for years. He has yielded much fruit in the pursuit of unity. I think one of the reasons he understands the need for unity is because of his spiritual training background.

---------------------------------------------------
Wikipedia describes Liberation theology as follows:

"Liberation theology focuses on Jesus Christ as not only the Redeemer but also the Liberator of the oppressed. It emphasizes the Christian mission to bring justice to the poor and oppressed, particularly through political activism."

And Black Liberation theology as:

Black theology or Black liberation theology is a Christian theology of liberation. The field of black liberation theology received its name in the 1960s and includes in its history Pan Africanists from earlier centuries who used the teachings of Christianity and/or the vehicle of the black church as foundational to their efforts for securing a self-determining existence for Africans.

Black liberation theology is theology from the perspective of oppressed people. It seeks to interpret the gospel of Jesus against the backdrop of historical and contemporary racism. The message of black theology is that the African American struggle for liberation is consistent with the gospel--every theological statement must be consistent with, and perpetuate, the goals of liberation.

This theology maintains that African Americans must be liberated from multiple forms of bondage—social, political, economic and religious. This liberation involves empowerment and seeks the right of self-definition, self-affirmation and self-determination."

---------------------------------------------------

I think his speech really explained well that the national reaction to Rev. Wright's sermons prove that the "most segregated hour in America is on Sunday mornings". It seems to me that what has been revealed in this, is that this is a very common theme in black churches across America, and we still have a long way to go in healing the hurts caused by the great sin of racism.

While Rev. Wright's convictions are shocking to anyone outside of the black church, I think it is very important for us to have understanding and grace for where the leaders of the black churches have come from, and through. The fact that Obama attended a church which promotes liberation theology (which is part of the gospel: to feed the poor, clothe the naked, care for orphans and widowed, etc.) and yet, comes out from under it with a revolutionary vision for unity and equality for ALL people, speaks to his integrity and character even more so.

He has proven that he has a unified perspective and vision for America - like you mentioned, and he has worked toward "perfecting our union" for so long. He understands that the injustices of this world are not a "black" problem. They are a problem for every American.

I think understanding liberation theology and promoting it are two different things. It would be one thing if he weren't standing up and raising his very influential voice to make a difference in this area to bring unity. Remember, too, that he got the title of his book, Audacity of Hope, from Rev. Wright. Wright did consistently speak about hope for a better future. It's a shame that he's being defined by these few damaging rants after 30 years of being respected.

I don't know if I'm addressing your disappointment, or not. Feel free to clarify if I've completely missed the point.:)

much love, dear friend.

Race in America and Building a More Perfect Union

2008-03-18T20:48:00.002-04:00

March 18, 2008

"We the people, in order to form a more perfect union."

"Two hundred and twenty one years ago, in a hall that still stands across the street, a group of men gathered and, with these simple words, launched America's improbable experiment in democracy. Farmers and scholars; statesmen and patriots who had traveled across an ocean to escape tyranny and persecution finally made real their declaration of independence at a Philadelphia convention that lasted through the spring of 1787.

The document they produced was eventually signed but ultimately unfinished. It was stained by this nation's original sin of slavery, a question that divided the colonies and brought the convention to a stalemate until the founders chose to allow the slave trade to continue for at least twenty more years, and to leave any final resolution to future generations.

Of course, the answer to the slavery question was already embedded within our Constitution - a Constitution that had at its very core the ideal of equal citizenship under the law; a Constitution that promised its people liberty, and justice, and a union that could be and should be perfected over time.

And yet words on a parchment would not be enough to deliver slaves from bondage, or provide men and women of every color and creed their full rights and obligations as citizens of the United States. What would be needed were Americans in successive generations who were willing to do their part - through protests and struggle, on the streets and in the courts, through a civil war and civil disobedience and always at great risk - to narrow that gap between the promise of our ideals and the reality of their time.

This was one of the tasks we set forth at the beginning of this campaign - to continue the long march of those who came before us, a march for a more just, more equal, more free, more caring and more prosperous America. I chose to run for the presidency at this moment in history because I believe deeply that we cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together - unless we perfect our union by understanding that we may have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction - towards a better future for our children and our grandchildren.

This belief comes from my unyielding faith in the decency and generosity of the American people. But it also comes from my own American story.

I am the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas. I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton's Army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas. I've gone to some of the best schools in America and lived in one of the world's poorest nations. I am married to a black American who carries within her the blood of slaves and slaveowners - an inheritance we pass on to our two precious daughters. I have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles and cousins, of every race and every hue, scattered across three continents, and for as long as I live, I will never forget that in no other country on Earth is my story even possible.

It's a story that hasn't made me the most conventional candidate. But it is a story that has seared into my genetic makeup the idea that this nation is more than the sum of its parts - that out of many, we are truly one.

Throughout the first year of this campaign, against all predictions to the contrary, we saw how hungry the American people were for this message of unity. Despite the temptation to view my candidacy through a purely racial lens, we won commanding victories in states with some of the whitest populations in the country. In South Carolina, where the Confederate Flag still flies, we built a powerful coalition of African Americans and white Americans.

This is not to say that race has not been an issue in the campaign. At various stages in the campaign, some commentators have deemed me either "too black" or "not black enough." We saw racial tensions bubble to the surface during the week before the South Carolina primary. The press has scoured every exit poll for the latest evidence of racial polarization, not just in terms of white and black, but black and brown as well.

And yet, it has only been in the last couple of weeks that the discussion of race in this campaign has taken a particularly divisive turn.

On one end of the spectrum, we've heard the implication that my candidacy is somehow an exercise in affirmative action; that it's based solely on the desire of wide-eyed liberals to purchase racial reconciliation on the cheap. On the other end, we've heard my former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, use incendiary language to express views that have the potential not only to widen the racial divide, but views that denigrate both the greatness and the goodness of our nation; that rightly offend white and black alike.

I have already condemned, in unequivocal terms, the statements of Reverend Wright that have caused such controversy. For some, nagging questions remain. Did I know him to be an occasionally fierce critic of American domestic and foreign policy? Of course. Did I ever hear him make remarks that could be considered controversial while I sat in church? Yes. Did I strongly disagree with many of his political views? Absolutely - just as I'm sure many of you have heard remarks from your pastors, priests, or rabbis with which you strongly disagreed.

But the remarks that have caused this recent firestorm weren't simply controversial. They weren't simply a religious leader's effort to speak out against perceived injustice. Instead, they expressed a profoundly distorted view of this country - a view that sees white racism as endemic, and that elevates what is wrong with America above all that we know is right with America; a view that sees the conflicts in the Middle East as rooted primarily in the actions of stalwart allies like Israel, instead of emanating from the perverse and hateful ideologies of radical Islam.

As such, Reverend Wright's comments were not only wrong but divisive, divisive at a time when we need unity; racially charged at a time when we need to come together to solve a set of monumental problems - two wars, a terrorist threat, a falling economy, a chronic health care crisis and potentially devastating climate change; problems that are neither black or white or Latino or Asian, but rather problems that confront us all.

Given my background, my politics, and my professed values and ideals, there will no doubt be those for whom my statements of condemnation are not enough. Why associate myself with Reverend Wright in the first place, they may ask? Why not join another church? And I confess that if all that I knew of Reverend Wright were the snippets of those sermons that have run in an endless loop on the television and You Tube, or if Trinity United Church of Christ conformed to the caricatures being peddled by some commentators, there is no doubt that I would react in much the same way

But the truth is, that isn't all that I know of the man. The man I met more than twenty years ago is a man who helped introduce me to my Christian faith, a man who spoke to me about our obligations to love one another; to care for the sick and lift up the poor. He is a man who served his country as a U.S. Marine; who has studied and lectured at some of the finest universities and seminaries in the country, and who for over thirty years led a church that serves the community by doing God's work here on Earth - by housing the homeless, ministering to the needy, providing day care services and scholarships and prison ministries, and reaching out to those suffering from HIV/AIDS.

In my first book, Dreams From My Father, I described the experience of my first service at Trinity:

"People began to shout, to rise from their seats and clap and cry out, a forceful wind carrying the reverend's voice up into the rafters....And in that single note - hope! - I heard something else; at the foot of that cross, inside the thousands of churches across the city, I imagined the stories of ordinary black people merging with the stories of David and Goliath, Moses and Pharaoh, the Christians in the lion's den, Ezekiel's field of dry bones. Those stories - of survival, and freedom, and hope - became our story, my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood, the tears our tears; until this black church, on this bright day, seemed once more a vessel carrying the story of a people into future generations and into a larger world. Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, black and more than black; in chronicling our journey, the stories and songs gave us a means to reclaim memories that we didn't need to feel shame about...memories that all people might study and cherish - and with which we could start to rebuild."

That has been my experience at Trinity. Like other predominantly black churches across the country, Trinity embodies the black community in its entirety - the doctor and the welfare mom, the model student and the former gang-banger. Like other black churches, Trinity's services are full of raucous laughter and sometimes bawdy humor. They are full of dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting that may seem jarring to the untrained ear. The church contains in full the kindness and cruelty, the fierce intelligence and the shocking ignorance, the struggles and successes, the love and yes, the bitterness and bias that make up the black experience in America.

And this helps explain, perhaps, my relationship with Reverend Wright. As imperfect as he may be, he has been like family to me. He strengthened my faith, officiated my wedding, and baptized my children. Not once in my conversations with him have I heard him talk about any ethnic group in derogatory terms, or treat whites with whom he interacted with anything but courtesy and respect. He contains within him the contradictions - the good and the bad - of the community that he has served diligently for so many years.

I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community. I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother - a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe.

These people are a part of me. And they are a part of America, this country that I love.

Some will see this as an attempt to justify or excuse comments that are simply inexcusable. I can assure you it is not. I suppose the politically safe thing would be to move on from this episode and just hope that it fades into the woodwork. We can dismiss Reverend Wright as a crank or a demagogue, just as some have dismissed Geraldine Ferraro, in the aftermath of her recent statements, as harboring some deep-seated racial bias.

But race is an issue that I believe this nation cannot afford to ignore right now. We would be making the same mistake that Reverend Wright made in his offending sermons about America - to simplify and stereotype and amplify the negative to the point that it distorts reality.

The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country that we've never really worked through - a part of our union that we have yet to perfect. And if we walk away now, if we simply retreat into our respective corners, we will never be able to come together and solve challenges like health care, or education, or the need to find good jobs for every American.

Understanding this reality requires a reminder of how we arrived at this point. As William Faulkner once wrote, "The past isn't dead and buried. In fact, it isn't even past." We do not need to recite here the history of racial injustice in this country. But we do need to remind ourselves that so many of the disparities that exist in the African-American community today can be directly traced to inequalities passed on from an earlier generation that suffered under the brutal legacy of slavery and Jim Crow.

Segregated schools were, and are, inferior schools; we still haven't fixed them, fifty years after Brown v. Board of Education, and the inferior education they provided, then and now, helps explain the pervasive achievement gap between today's black and white students.

Legalized discrimination - where blacks were prevented, often through violence, from owning property, or loans were not granted to African-American business owners, or black homeowners could not access FHA mortgages, or blacks were excluded from unions, or the police force, or fire departments - meant that black families could not amass any meaningful wealth to bequeath to future generations. That history helps explain the wealth and income gap between black and white, and the concentrated pockets of poverty that persists in so many of today's urban and rural communities.

A lack of economic opportunity among black men, and the shame and frustration that came from not being able to provide for one's family, contributed to the erosion of black families - a problem that welfare policies for many years may have worsened. And the lack of basic services in so many urban black neighborhoods - parks for kids to play in, police walking the beat, regular garbage pick-up and building code enforcement - all helped create a cycle of violence, blight and neglect that continue to haunt us.

This is the reality in which Reverend Wright and other African-Americans of his generation grew up. They came of age in the late fifties and early sixties, a time when segregation was still the law of the land and opportunity was systematically constricted. What's remarkable is not how many failed in the face of discrimination, but rather how many men and women overcame the odds; how many were able to make a way out of no way for those like me who would come after them.

But for all those who scratched and clawed their way to get a piece of the American Dream, there were many who didn't make it - those who were ultimately defeated, in one way or another, by discrimination. That legacy of defeat was passed on to future generations - those young men and increasingly young women who we see standing on street corners or languishing in our prisons, without hope or prospects for the future. Even for those blacks who did make it, questions of race, and racism, continue to define their worldview in fundamental ways. For the men and women of Reverend Wright's generation, the memories of humiliation and doubt and fear have not gone away; nor has the anger and the bitterness of those years. That anger may not get expressed in public, in front of white co-workers or white friends. But it does find voice in the barbershop or around the kitchen table. At times, that anger is exploited by politicians, to gin up votes along racial lines, or to make up for a politician's own failings.

And occasionally it finds voice in the church on Sunday morning, in the pulpit and in the pews. The fact that so many people are surprised to hear that anger in some of Reverend Wright's sermons simply reminds us of the old truism that the most segregated hour in American life occurs on Sunday morning. That anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems; it keeps us from squarely facing our own complicity in our condition, and prevents the African-American community from forging the alliances it needs to bring about real change. But the anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.

In fact, a similar anger exists within segments of the white community. Most working- and middle-class white Americans don't feel that they have been particularly privileged by their race. Their experience is the immigrant experience - as far as they're concerned, no one's handed them anything, they've built it from scratch. They've worked hard all their lives, many times only to see their jobs shipped overseas or their pension dumped after a lifetime of labor. They are anxious about their futures, and feel their dreams slipping away; in an era of stagnant wages and global competition, opportunity comes to be seen as a zero sum game, in which your dreams come at my expense. So when they are told to bus their children to a school across town; when they hear that an African American is getting an advantage in landing a good job or a spot in a good college because of an injustice that they themselves never committed; when they're told that their fears about crime in urban neighborhoods are somehow prejudiced, resentment builds over time.

Like the anger within the black community, these resentments aren't always expressed in polite company. But they have helped shape the political landscape for at least a generation. Anger over welfare and affirmative action helped forge the Reagan Coalition. Politicians routinely exploited fears of crime for their own electoral ends. Talk show hosts and conservative commentators built entire careers unmasking bogus claims of racism while dismissing legitimate discussions of racial injustice and inequality as mere political correctness or reverse racism.

Just as black anger often proved counterproductive, so have these white resentments distracted attention from the real culprits of the middle class squeeze - a corporate culture rife with inside dealing, questionable accounting practices, and short-term greed; a Washington dominated by lobbyists and special interests; economic policies that favor the few over the many. And yet, to wish away the resentments of white Americans, to label them as misguided or even racist, without recognizing they are grounded in legitimate concerns - this too widens the racial divide, and blocks the path to understanding.

This is where we are right now. It's a racial stalemate we've been stuck in for years. Contrary to the claims of some of my critics, black and white, I have never been so naÃ¯ve as to believe that we can get beyond our racial divisions in a single election cycle, or with a single candidacy - particularly a candidacy as imperfect as my own.

But I have asserted a firm conviction - a conviction rooted in my faith in God and my faith in the American people - that working together we can move beyond some of our old racial wounds, and that in fact we have no choice is we are to continue on the path of a more perfect union.

For the African-American community, that path means embracing the burdens of our past without becoming victims of our past. It means continuing to insist on a full measure of justice in every aspect of American life. But it also means binding our particular grievances - for better health care, and better schools, and better jobs - to the larger aspirations of all Americans -- the white woman struggling to break the glass ceiling, the white man whose been laid off, the immigrant trying to feed his family. And it means taking full responsibility for own lives - by demanding more from our fathers, and spending more time with our children, and reading to them, and teaching them that while they may face challenges and discrimination in their own lives, they must never succumb to despair or cynicism; they must always believe that they can write their own destiny.

Ironically, this quintessentially American - and yes, conservative - notion of self-help found frequent expression in Reverend Wright's sermons. But what my former pastor too often failed to understand is that embarking on a program of self-help also requires a belief that society can change.

The profound mistake of Reverend Wright's sermons is not that he spoke about racism in our society. It's that he spoke as if our society was static; as if no progress has been made; as if this country - a country that has made it possible for one of his own members to run for the highest office in the land and build a coalition of white and black; Latino and Asian, rich and poor, young and old -- is still irrevocably bound to a tragic past. But what we know -- what we have seen - is that America can change. That is the true genius of this nation. What we have already achieved gives us hope - the audacity to hope - for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

In the white community, the path to a more perfect union means acknowledging that what ails the African-American community does not just exist in the minds of black people; that the legacy of discrimination - and current incidents of discrimination, while less overt than in the past - are real and must be addressed. Not just with words, but with deeds - by investing in our schools and our communities; by enforcing our civil rights laws and ensuring fairness in our criminal justice system; by providing this generation with ladders of opportunity that were unavailable for previous generations. It requires all Americans to realize that your dreams do not have to come at the expense of my dreams; that investing in the health, welfare, and education of black and brown and white children will ultimately help all of America prosper.

In the end, then, what is called for is nothing more, and nothing less, than what all the world's great religions demand - that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Let us be our brother's keeper, Scripture tells us. Let us be our sister's keeper. Let us find that common stake we all have in one another, and let our politics reflect that spirit as well.

For we have a choice in this country. We can accept a politics that breeds division, and conflict, and cynicism. We can tackle race only as spectacle - as we did in the OJ trial - or in the wake of tragedy, as we did in the aftermath of Katrina - or as fodder for the nightly news. We can play Reverend Wright's sermons on every channel, every day and talk about them from now until the election, and make the only question in this campaign whether or not the American people think that I somehow believe or sympathize with his most offensive words. We can pounce on some gaffe by a Hillary supporter as evidence that she's playing the race card, or we can speculate on whether white men will all flock to John McCain in the general election regardless of his policies.

We can do that.

But if we do, I can tell you that in the next election, we'll be talking about some other distraction. And then another one. And then another one. And nothing will change.

That is one option. Or, at this moment, in this election, we can come together and say, "Not this time." This time we want to talk about the crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children and white children and Asian children and Hispanic children and Native American children. This time we want to reject the cynicism that tells us that these kids can't learn; that those kids who don't look like us are somebody else's problem. The children of America are not those kids, they are our kids, and we will not let them fall behind in a 21st century economy. Not this time.

This time we want to talk about how the lines in the Emergency Room are filled with whites and blacks and Hispanics who do not have health care; who don't have the power on their own to overcome the special interests in Washington, but who can take them on if we do it together.

This time we want to talk about the shuttered mills that once provided a decent life for men and women of every race, and the homes for sale that once belonged to Americans from every religion, every region, every walk of life. This time we want to talk about the fact that the real problem is not that someone who doesn't look like you might take your job; it's that the corporation you work for will ship it overseas for nothing more than a profit.

This time we want to talk about the men and women of every color and creed who serve together, and fight together, and bleed together under the same proud flag. We want to talk about how to bring them home from a war that never should've been authorized and never should've been waged, and we want to talk about how we'll show our patriotism by caring for them, and their families, and giving them the benefits they have earned.

I would not be running for President if I didn't believe with all my heart that this is what the vast majority of Americans want for this country. This union may never be perfect, but generation after generation has shown that it can always be perfected. And today, whenever I find myself feeling doubtful or cynical about this possibility, what gives me the most hope is the next generation - the young people whose attitudes and beliefs and openness to change have already made history in this election.

There is one story in particularly that I'd like to leave you with today - a story I told when I had the great honor of speaking on Dr. King's birthday at his home church, Ebenezer Baptist, in Atlanta.

There is a young, twenty-three year old white woman named Ashley Baia who organized for our campaign in Florence, South Carolina. She had been working to organize a mostly African-American community since the beginning of this campaign, and one day she was at a roundtable discussion where everyone went around telling their story and why they were there.

And Ashley said that when she was nine years old, her mother got cancer. And because she had to miss days of work, she was let go and lost her health care. They had to file for bankruptcy, and that's when Ashley decided that she had to do something to help her mom.

She knew that food was one of their most expensive costs, and so Ashley convinced her mother that what she really liked and really wanted to eat more than anything else was mustard and relish sandwiches. Because that was the cheapest way to eat.

She did this for a year until her mom got better, and she told everyone at the roundtable that the reason she joined our campaign was so that she could help the millions of other children in the country who want and need to help their parents too.

Now Ashley might have made a different choice. Perhaps somebody told her along the way that the source of her mother's problems were blacks who were on welfare and too lazy to work, or Hispanics who were coming into the country illegally. But she didn't. She sought out allies in her fight against injustice.

Anyway, Ashley finishes her story and then goes around the room and asks everyone else why they're supporting the campaign. They all have different stories and reasons. Many bring up a specific issue. And finally they come to this elderly black man who's been sitting there quietly the entire time. And Ashley asks him why he's there. And he does not bring up a specific issue. He does not say health care or the economy. He does not say education or the war. He does not say that he was there because of Barack Obama. He simply says to everyone in the room, "I am here because of Ashley."

"I'm here because of Ashley." By itself, that single moment of recognition between that young white girl and that old black man is not enough. It is not enough to give health care to the sick, or jobs to the jobless, or education to our children.

But it is where we start. It is where our union grows stronger. And as so many generations have come to realize over the course of the two-hundred and twenty one years since a band of patriots signed that document in Philadelphia, that is where the perfection begins."

Response to Dustin

2008-03-17T20:20:00.006-04:00

Hi Dustin,

It's great to hear from you. I really have enjoyed reading your blog and getting to know your family. We're excited for the arrival of little LeeAnne! Thanks for your warm wishes regarding Raegan. We are very excited for this new chapter in her life! ...she's very excited, too. It is a wonderful blessing.

Regarding your comments about my last post, I want to begin by thanking you for responding. I never have accepted the thought of religion and politics being something you shouldn't talk about. I LOVE talking about things that excite and inspire me. Nothing inspires me like the faith we share in our Lord Jesus Christ, and recently even politics has inspired me! I've never been one to hide my feelings, anyway...if you remember:)

It's probably pretty clear from the onset that I disagree with your points about Obama. Here's why:

1. Rev. Wright has been preaching for over 30+ years. Who ever dug these videos up could only come up with THREE controversial videos. Don't you agree that if there were any more out there we would know about it! (certainly more may surface, but for now we have three) It is very feasible that Obama is telling the truth about not hearing these kinds of sermons from the man he considers like an Uncle - the man who led him to Jesus, married he and his wife, baptized his two little girls, and who talks with him about faith and family in his own home. This man is much more like a family member than just a pastor.

The Sept. 11th speech was given on the following Sunday. Anyone in politics was either in D.C. or NY dealing with the tragic aftermath. The sermon that talked about the injustices of our country and included the words "God d*** America" took place in 2003, and the last one, that talked about Hillary never experiencing racism, was from December of this past year. Three sermons, over thirty years of preaching, teaching in seminaries, and being a public figure in Chicago - all "they" can come up with are three excerpts from three sermons.

(a little side note: we evangelicals quickly forget, I think, how many of our leaders and pastors throughout the years have blamed 9/11 and AIDS on homosexuality and abortion, as a punishment on our nation. Jerry Falwell, for one, was extremely outspoken - saying almost exactly the same message as Rev. Wright. Wright uses racism instead of homosexuality and abortion. I, having been raised in the Southern Baptist denomination, heard similar messages throughout my childhood. These are not foreign concepts.)

2. Barack Obama HAS confronted Rev. Wright about his divisive words and statements. When he found out about these sermons a year ago he told his pastor then, that he disapproved of his statements. Furthermore, he distanced his campaign from his pastor at that point. Rev. Wright was uninvited to the dinner Obama hosted to announce his running for office. I would say that he not only "expressed his dislike to Wright", but he even took action that "fleshed out" his disapproval of Rev. Wright's words.

3. I don't call removing someone from your campaign "stand(ing) by and do(ing) nothing". He has denounced and rejected the statements given by Rev. Wright. He has removed him from his campaign. What else should he do? Surely you aren't suggesting that he shun the man?! Obama has handled this in a very Christ-like way. He obviously loves and respects this man. I think it is also obvious that he is really disappointed in this man, who has been a spiritual mentor to him. I say "spiritual" for a reason. Rev. Wright is NOT a politician and is NOT a political adviser. He was on Obama's campaign as a spiritual adviser - one of many, I might add.

Obama began his run on the notion that we can be united as ONE America: not a black America, white America, Latino America, Asian America...One united America. He has made his differences from Rev. Wright's statements starkly clear from the very beginning of this campaign (and since he came on the political scene in 2002). He has been consistent. He has not wavered from this message or vision. ...would you want to be held accountable for some of the things pastor Alan said during our time at Mt. Vernon?! Did you agree with everything he said? We still love pastor Alan and still have great respect for him, but we disagree with him on quite a few issues.

McCain is very lucky that the media hasn't broadcast some of Hagee and Parsley's sermons!!! Do you want to compare these two with the Rev. Wright? Each come with their own set of baggage and divisive messages, but are not defined by them.

Wright fought, probably lost loved ones, probably went to jail, for the rights our African American brothers and sisters enjoy today. I understand his bitterness and frustration toward America, and his fighting spirit. However, Obama recognizes that the America Wright grew up in and struggled through, is NOT the America we live in today, nor is it the one we have grown up in. He understands that the next chapter is UNITY. He also understands that he's been given a gift to bring that unity to fruition.

Hagee and Parsley's statements offend me even more than the comments Wright made! One is calling the catholic church a whore, while the other says that we are a Christian nation that was founded to bring "death" to all other religions - namely Islam.... ah, yes...and we are to be known by our love.....mmm.

All three men have perspectives that are divisive in nature. Does that make them evil? Of course not.

Does that message define who they are as men of faith? I don't think so.

Is that all they talk about on Sunday mornings? Of course not.

The difference is that McCain stood on stage with those guys and accepted their support, thus aligning himself with their divisive message....while Obama has sought to distance his campaign from Rev. Wright and has never appeared at a political function with him.

That does make Obama different.

Clinton and the republican party are looking for anything they can get their hands on (as they should) and they have come up with very little, and nothing that will stick.

Obama is very different. He has shown grace throughout this campaign when he could have easily made a HUGE stink. He continues to conduct himself in a Christ-like way. Think about all he has encountered in this primary race. Hillary has fought dirty the entire time.

Do you hear Obama highlighting her MANY scandalous relationships; highlighting the fact that her top contributor for her campaign is actually sitting in jail right now as I type this and they have kept his money; the fact that she has taken more money from lobbyist then all the republican candidates combined? He didn't go after her crazy mood swings after her dramatic episodes just before OH and TX - she gave every man in America fodder after that show... And this recent Geraldine Ferraro thing....he in NO way attacked her, as you said. I've seen all the interviews. When pressed he talked about his admiration for Mrs. Ferraro and her trail-blazing bravery, etc. Out of all the interviews I saw regarding this subject (which she played out day after day for over a week) there was only one where he said her comments were ridiculous.

The media jumped on her comments and called them racist...because they WERE! The media asked the Obama campaign what they thought. The media called out Hillary for not squelching these comments in a more appropriate time frame - say...immediately! The media is noting her patterns to discreetly play on fear of religion, race, etc.

Obama's response to the divisive remarks from his pastor were to immediately denounce and reject them, and furthermore re-emphasize his vision for a united America; not a black America working with a white America working with a Latino America... but One united America! No one else in this race has this same vision.

So, I'll end on one comment that I do agree with you on: "Obama is much more than we realize".

I would love to know your thoughts, and anyone else. I hope I haven't come off too abrasive. I am still working on learning how to communicate my passion without being so rough around the edges:)

Much love to you all, my dear brothers and sisters.

These are highlights of the speech he gave in 2004 at the DNC. It's only 4min. long. It is worth watching. It is a reminder that he IS different. His vision for our country IS different. He understands the heart of Christ and inspires multitudes to have that same heart. His vision has consistently been about unity and continues to be about unity. Enjoy:)

Obama/Wright Controversy

2008-03-15T22:21:00.004-04:00

My dear friend, Kim, asked me what my opinions were on the recent developments with Obama's former pastor Jeremiah Wright. I am again, really impressed by how Obama is handling this. Here are his comments on the subject. The first is a speech calling for a post-racial era, the second is an interview he had with Keith Olbermann on MSNBC. (He also talks about Tony Rezko in this interview.)

There are several things I really appreciate about his response:
1. It is a biblical approach to "condemn the sin, not the sinner" and Obama is continuing to make Christ-like decisions on how he handles these "controversies".
2. I appreciate that he recognizes the generational struggles Mr. Wright encountered, therefore still showing bitterness; he points out that our generation has benefited from those struggles; finally he makes the point that we are seeking a post-racial era, as he talks about in his speech.
3. I also appreciate his love for this pastor, despite these political blunders. I have family members, whom I love and respect a great deal. However, over the course of time I have stumbled upon conversations with these beloved family members that have revealed drastically different perspectives on life. I understand Obama's conflict. I do believe, however, that he is handling this quickly and appropriately, re-emphasizing his desire to unify our ONE America.
4. He has continually exhibited grace and understanding...even for Hillary.
.....just my opinion, I hope it helps:)

Raegan's Decision

2008-03-13T05:43:00.006-04:00

I am very happy and blessed to tell you that Raegan decided to pray and ask Jesus to be her Lord and Savior on Tuesday, March 11th.

background: We've been having theology 101 with Rae for years now. ..not by our prodding, though talking about our faith is a daily part of our lives, around the dinner table, in our evening devotions, as the girls hear us pray throughout the day, etc. Raegan has been the source of these theology lessons. It is usually in the car when Rae will ask me a doozie of a question. She never ceases to amaze me! I have been challenged on many occasions, but praise the Lord for the training He has brought into my life throughout the years to be able to answer her. She truly is her father's daughter.

Raegan came into this world asking questions (just like her daddy). I answer every one with pleasure and continue to ask for wisdom on how to do that. I told Gavin a few weeks ago that I thought it may be time to tell her about the "sinner's prayer". We both believe in covenant theology, meaning that there is a certain amount of salvation that comes to our children by being raised under our faith. We also believe that it is a healthy aspect of our journey of faith to have moment when you take responsibility for your faith - make a personal decision.

Tuesday, on the heels of several theology 101 sessions that day, Raegan came to me and said that she wanted a real Bible. So I told her we would go to B&N later that day and get her one. Gavin and Nick were traveling with business, so I thought it would be a fun outing. We LOVE Barnes & Noble!

When we got there Rae picked out a burgundy colored, Message version (they had slim pickings on their NIV's), and she was very excited and proud. Then it was Reece's turn to pick out a few books. She wanted a real Bible, too. I told her she could have one when she turned six, which satisfied the moment. As Reece began looking through the candy store of books, Rae found a few "I can read" Bible stories and asked if she could study about Jesus by getting a few. Of course, I thought that was a great idea and she picked out a few. We had a great time at B&N. Even Eliot got a few new books (she LOVES books already).

On our way home, I felt more and more led to tell Rae about making a decision of faith. Later that night, as I was putting the girls to bed, I told them I wanted to talk to them about something. The girls are very aware of the gospel message because of our weekly observance of Sabbath (family webpage and I talked about it here). We go through the redemptive story of our faith every Saturday and Sunday in a fun, physical, and tactile way. So as I asked the girls a series of questions about our faith: Who created the world? (God) Who created us? (God) Why do we need Jesus? (God is Holy and perfect and we're not) Why did Jesus have to die? (we all make bad choices; Jesus never made a bad choice) Did Jesus stay dead? (No, He rose again), etc., they answered them all with great understanding.

I then told Raegan and Reece that when mommy and daddy were younger, we both prayed a prayer that said that we wanted Jesus to be our King, Lord and Savior; that we wanted to follow after him from that day on. That is what made us Christians. Raegan didn't skip a beat, "Does that mean we're not Christians, mommy?"
"..here we go", I thought. "Lord give me wisdom".

"Well, sweetheart, because you are a part of our family - it's like mommy and daddy have an umbrella of faith, and you and your sisters are safe under that umbrella. But one day, there will come a time when you will want to hold your own umbrella of faith, and Jesus will write your name in His book of life, along with mommy and daddy's." I also told them about being baptized and how that tells everyone that you have decided to follow Jesus, and that He is your King.

"Mommy, I want to do that right now. I want my own umbrella and have my name in His book". After asking her if she was sure, and emphasizing what a big commitment that was, and meant, we knelt down beside the bed together and prayed:
Dear Jesus, I know I have made bad choices.
I know that you are Holy.
You died for me because of my bad choices.
Please forgive me.
I want to follow you, Jesus.
So from this day on, I am yours.

She asked when she could get baptized and tell everyone about her decision (she already tells the kids at school that Jesus loves them). I have to check into the baptizing process at RBC, and decide how we want to proceed. Reece wanted to pray this prayer, too, (and we did) but she's not ready to be baptized, so I told her she could tell us whenever she was ready.

We called daddy first, then grandparents and my precious grandmother (their great grandmother), as well. It was an exciting night. Though I don't believe a lot of six year olds are ready to make this kind of serious commitment, I was at five, Gavin was at six, and Raegan certainly is, also. I never looked back from that decision, greatly due to the amazing women of faith the Lord placed in my life, from my grandmother, to my mother, who continue to bless me. Gavin and I will make sure Rae continues to grow in her faith, answering the tough questions and encouraging her to ask more.

Thanks for letting me share this sweet news. I hope it has encouraged you today, as it encourages me.

Still Impressed by Obama

2008-03-13T04:37:00.003-04:00

(disclaimer: I woke up at 4:30am and couldn't go back to sleep so decided to write. Therefore, this entry is a little more fired up than my usual entry...:))

This is a third party reaction to the recent antics of the Clinton campaign. It is no mystery that our house is all abuzz with politics, and that we are huge Obama supporters, as you can see. However, my respect for him has grown over the past few weeks.

Since Hillary became the "fighter", just before Ohio and TX primaries, she has done nothing but twist facts, and hurl slanderous material out to the public. She has accused Obama of conducting himself in a "shameful" way; a way that all "Democrats should be outraged" by - all the while continuing to conduct herself and this campaign in the most under-handed, sleezy and unhonorable way I've ever witnessed.

She continues to pass out slanderous material and prey on the fears of religion, racism and sexism. However, when Obama passes out material in Ohio that is actually true - she starts whining and pitching a fit because it highlights her in a way that is detrimental to the people of Ohio. ...and then she wins Ohio?!?! Gavin and I have felt like we were taking crazy pills!!! What in the world is Ohio thinking. How can they reward these tactics? Do they really want someone who will play dirty, no matter what, to obtain this office? Is this really the kind of person we want to be running against McCain in November.....for Republicans, I would say an overwhelming YES! But, I am an Independent, an Independent that voted for Bush in the last two elections, I might add, and I say a resounding NO.

Out of sheer decency and a desire for all Americans to be treated fairly - there is NO way I could ever support Hillary Clinton. She completely repulses me and I would NEVER vote for her. I don't think this is going to be an issue, because Barack is going to continue his upward push and win this nomination - but just so ya know: Gavin, nor I, will be voting for Hillary Clinton.

From her cheap shots, to her loud mouth, ill-advised husband, refusal to concede any state to Obama, to her recent antics of suggesting Obama would be her VP, coming from a person in SECOND, and now her weak reaction to Ferraro, she has run a repulsive campaign that I'm sick of. When this race for the nomination began I had respect for Hillary. I didn't agree with her extreme stance on several issues (like wanting to make Roe vs. Wade a federal law) but I had a great deal of respect for her. She spoke well. I thought she handled herself great in the debates and came away from many of them impressed.

Clearly, any respect I had for her is gone. I can't even stand to hear her voice. I am no longer amazed by her accusations but disgusted. She is the one who should be ashamed. Shame on you, Hillary!

Gavin and I saw this segment from Keith Olbermann, from MSNBC, and finally felt vindicated. He spoke the words we have been thinking for weeks. I couldn't resist the urge to post it here.

You know, I was heart broken after the Ohio primary. When Obama came out to speak, we were, of course watching. I couldn't believe the quality of this man's character. The first thing he did was to concede Ohio and RI (which is tradition), and congratulate Hillary on running a tenacious campaign. He then talked about how he had just called McCain and congratulated him on winning the nomination. You couldn't have two starker pictures of the difference between these campaigns. She has yet to concede ANY state (he has won over double the states she has). He could have easily come out and conducted himself in a manner that would follow the tone set by Clinton. Instead, he was gracious and humble. He reminded me of the Christ-like love we are to have for our enemies. I couldn't believe it! I can't remember the last time I saw such self sacrifice. He had every right to be ugly, (they had just come off the ugliest week of campaigning from the Clinton camp) or to take this opportunity to trash her character (which wouldn't take much given her conduct), but instead he graciously submitted, and furthermore, congratulated her!

He has continued to make these very difficult decisions in the face of outright slander and mud-slinging. I'm blown away! This is the man I want representing our country. A man who knows who he is and chooses the right battles to fight.

There is no worship in this household of Barack Obama, but we do have more respect for him than any other politician, by far. His conduct and character astound me. I'm humbled by his example and encouraged to be better than I am. He inspires, and seeks to inspire the people of America. He gets the kind of reaction he does because it's been a long time since American's have been inspired.

"I'm asking you to BELIEVE. Not just in my ability to bring about real change in Washington...I'm asking you to believe in Yours!" -Barack Obama

Reece EmmaKay

2008-03-06T15:05:00.005-05:00

Roo turned 4 on Monday!! Allow me to reflect on this sweet little blessing that is Reece...

She came into this world a complete joy. I delivered her in just two hours and in only two pushes....I had been braced for the worst because of my previous delivery, and couldn't have been more pleasantly surprised. I fell in love with her the second I saw her.

The sweet thing is, she fell in love with me, too:) (Rae immediately fell in love with her daddy, which is SO sweet, and very enjoyable for me, but it was an amazing feeling when Reece immediately showered me with love and favor.)

During my pregnancy with Eliot she was my care-taker. If my shirt was up a little bit, she would gently fix it. If I needed a drink, she would get if for me. Many times she would meet a need for me before I even realized I had a one.

A few of my favorite things: when she hugs, she holds on tight and lingers. When I take her to school we give each other "eyes" in the rear view mirror and "I love you" signs (sign language). When I say bye to her on her way into school, she always looks back to say "bye mommy, I love you". I love her blonde hair, because it makes everyone think she looks like me, though she really looks more like Gavin. She melts me.

My mom, and Gavin's parents are in town for the celebration of Reece's fourth and Eliot's first birthday, this week. This is what they had to say:

Marneaux (My Mom): She makes great faces. She's always so thankful and appreciative. She always puts my name at the end of her sentences: "Thank you, Marneaux." or "I love you, Marneaux". I can't believe how she memorizes scripture! oh, my goodness! She makes you feel very loved.

PawPaw (Gavin's dad): I like her smile. She's got a special smile.

MiMi (Gavin's mom): She's very mischievous in such a cute way.

Gavin: Whenever she gets a gift she's always looking for ways to share it. She loves to cuddle. I like how she can't go to sleep until she gets perfectly still, and she tries really hard NOT to get really still.

Nick: I like when she pretends she's sleeping in the car...she fools us all. I like her crazy faces.

Raegan: Her smile is really cute. She shines like a star. She always makes me laugh. Her eyes sparkle like gold.

Reece LOVES collecting rocks.
She loves to dress up and play ANYTHING with Raegan.
She loves broccoli.
She loves to wrestle with her daddy. She invented the spin-drop before she was even two years old!
She loves making goofy faces.
Reece is very funny.
She's got a wicked sweet tooth. (she loves fruit)
She has an AMAZING sense of style!!!
She is a wonderful, budding artist.
She LOVES her sisters.

I love our little Roo. She blesses us all with an abundance of love. I feel God's love for me through her. I'm so thankful for this precious little one. The Lord has big plans for her...I can't wait to see...
...to be continued.

My little Hiatus

2008-03-03T20:22:00.003-05:00

I'm back from a weekend away with some other women from RBC. We went to a Christian conference center called Sandy Cove. It's located right on the bay, in Maryland. I got to look out over the water every morning and see the sun set every night. It was a wonderful time of reflection, fellowship, rest, working through some thoughts, and service.

I got to do what I have been gifted to do best: gather! The Lord has blessed me with the ability to be drawn to people that need a friend. (I also got to play guitar and sing on the worship team!) I met lots of really great women - young and old. I made some friends:) I got to minister to some women. It was really great to be used. I haven't really been able to use any of these gifts since we moved here.

The nice thing about this retreat is that, although I was meeting a lot of new people, I was also able to steal away and have some alone time to think through some things and reflect over the past year and a half that we've been here in the D.C. area. I can clearly see how this time has been a season of much needed rest. From the moment we arrived here (though I came with a very resistant heart), I felt rescued. We have been blessed with a wonderful home that enables us to host friends and family again - which we thrive on and blesses us so greatly. We have been blessed with enough finances to get through each rough patch. We have been given a sweet season of rest in a unique way, that we have never experienced before. It's been wonderful.

I was struck with the urge to proclaim to the Lord how thankful I was for this season, but that I am now ready to be used again. I know the Lord has used us throughout this season. But, I'm ready for something more tangible. I feel the Lord preparing me for this next season. He's been preparing me for a few weeks now. (He's always so good to do that for me) Though I have to fight the temptation to fear the upcoming season, I trust Him completely. I trust His plans to prosper us, not to harm us. I want His plans of hope and a future.

(We have decided to stay in the area for the next 3-5 years and put our home, in Cambridge, back on the market. We had planned to return to Cambridge to save money, but Gavin's employer told us that being in Boston would not be an option for us. I had specifically prayed for God to be clear on where we should be....and He certainly was. It's a very bitter-sweet decision because we really love that home. It doesn't mean we won't end up back in Cambridge, at some point, it will just be a house that suits us better if we do. If it doesn't sell then I guess we'll go back to the drawing board. Who knows?! Truly, only God does. As soon as I think I have the five year plan figured out the rug is gently pulled out from under me...back to my knees:) It is, however, a wonderfully freeing thing to be dependent on God's plans rather than our own.)

Another great thing about this weekend is that I felt like the Lord began the process of answering a prayer of mine, for friendship. I've talked before about Meredith - she is a precious mixture of so many of my dear friends; she loves the Lord; tells it like it is; she's funny and delightful; and she loves me unconditionally. She's a good friend. I'm excited about the prospects of friendship with two of her friends that she introduced me to this weekend: Linda and Megan. We had some powerful time of prayer and ministry. I'm excited and feel like these could be lasting friendships. ..we'll see:)

I came home, missing my family, but so energized! Gavin was amazed at how much energy I got from the weekend. I'm very thankful. I'm even more blessed. God is good.

Christian Culture?

2008-02-27T12:52:00.006-05:00

Since it's completely unrealistic to imagine all Christian denominations merging into one - to attain unity in the Church, what should be the strategy? It seems if we had a Christian culture, that centered around our core beliefs, we could then begin to focus on what we hold in common, bringing about an atmosphere of unity.

We have experienced this very gift of unity whenever we celebrate Sabbath with others. Every Saturday night we begin Sabbath, and close Sabbath every Sunday night. (The Early Church moved observance of Sabbath to Saturday evening instead of Friday evening to distinguish themselves) This observance is something we share with Moses and the other children of Israel. We share this with Peter, Paul, John and the other disciples. It is an observance that unifies us with our history, and can unify us today as God's People.

Gavin has taken the traditional Jewish ceremony and written in aspects of our Christian faith (check out our family webpage for the full liturgy).

We start by lighting the candles. Instead of a Hebrew blessing, the eldest woman quotes Jn. 8:12 "Jesus says...'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

Gavin blesses the children, first boys (when we have company - he always looks forward to blessing the boys:)), and then the girls using the traditional Hebrew blessing - in English. The girls are blessed in the name of Sarah, Rachel, Rebbecca, and Leah who were strong women of the faith, who led their families, along with their husbands, to follow the Lord.

Then we talk through the Gospel, highlighting three areas (Gavin asks the girls a series of questions on each topic which they happily answer):

1. God created the world
2. God saved us from Egypt - we were slaves - passover
3. Jesus set us free - He broke his body and poured out his blood and was raised from the dead by the power of the Holy Spirit, the same spirit that lives in God's People.

After a few short remaining blessings, we each go to one another and say "The peace of Sabbath to you" with a hug.

No matter who has been with us, whether it be a soccer mom, an Anglican priest, new believers, catholic background, baptist background, children or adult - every one can relate to this short liturgy. We then dig in and have a great meal together.

We try very hard to make our observance of Sabbath one that is freeing instead of full of law - so we focus on things we'd like to do over the next 24hrs: paint, sketch, read a book, family dance time, etc. Mobile phones are turned off and there is no work done during that time, either. It's freeing and enjoyable - what we believe it is supposed to be. It's also a time to reflect on the reality that all we have is from the Lord, and remind us how greatly we need Him.

I'll talk about what we do to close Sabbath tomorrow.

I'm talking about this, not because I believe it will solve all of our problems and suddenly make a unified Church. I'm talking about this because I believe we can all agree that we have lost our connection back to the Early Church and to each other. Even though we hold certain core beliefs in common, we don't have a culture that supports those beliefs and brings unity. Things like this point us in the right direction.

How would it feel for us Christians, if when we walk into another believers home on Saturday night - in any part of the world - and we know we're going to observe Sabbath because that's "what we do", it's our culture? (it's what our fathers of the faith did, it's what the early church did) It would feel amazing to be able to share such a practice with others that believe what I believe. (btw, it also opens up a peaceful and gracious way to talk about the many things we disagree on - I've seen it happen over and over again.)

It's not a difficult thing. These are small areas we can move in to come a little closer to a unified Christian culture.....

What are some other ways? ...thoughts?

Unity in the Church

2008-02-25T21:41:00.005-05:00

This topic is one that has occupied many conversations between Gavin and myself for years. It is a passion of Gavin's. I completely support him in his leadership of our family to pursue this great endeavor. The Lord has certainly gifted him in many areas and given him a vision - which is exciting and very challenging.

I've learned so much from Gavin throughout the years. One of the most fascinating points he has brought to my attention is that when Luther, father of the reformation, died - he died a catholic. Luther never intended a split in the Church. His hope was to reform the Church - capital "C".

The reformation began a trend that has spun out of control today. New denominations are formed so easily with no tie back into the historical Church, the body of believers that span all the way back to the early church. We have forgotten the importance of being unified as a People. There is no Christian culture. We are known more for our hypocritical stance on political issues, and judgmental attitudes toward the world than by our love or even core beliefs.

No one denomination has it all right, clearly. After all, it is made up of a bunch of sinful humans. That being said, however, we do hold some core beliefs.

The Apostle's Creed

I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord.
He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit
and born of the Virgin Mary.
He suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended to the dead.
On the third day He rose again.
He ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Holy Catholic Church,
the communion of Saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting. AMEN.

We have these beliefs in common. Isn't everything else up for conversation? Is worship style really worth separating the Church over? What about predestination? Once saved always saved? Sprinkle or dunk? ...........

These are important discussions, true. I don't mean to belittle their relevance, but when compared to our core beliefs, and the value that our Lord had for his Church to be unified, doesn't it seem kind of silly in the end, to be separated over issues outside of these core, fundamental beliefs?

I have studied church history. I have studied the reformation. I have studied the crusades. Granted I am no scholar and have much room to learn, but it seems like, in our post-enlightened era, we should be able to come closer to unity, as a body of believers.

The sacrifices believers made throughout those tumultuous years is astounding. So many martyrs... I do not mean to down play their great passion and sacrifice. Hinds-sight being 20/20 however, couldn't we as the Church take a more sober look at our faith, here in 2008?

The Italian culture is widely known. The Greek culture is widely known. The Muslim culture is widely known. The Jewish culture is widely known. ...how is the Christian culture known?